We live in a world where everything looks urgent. Success, love, money, image, it all feels like a race. Scroll through social media and you’ll find someone announcing an engagement, another posting their "dream body,” someone else celebrating their first million at 23. And silently, you begin to ask yourself: "Am I behind? Am I enough?”
ALSO READ: Dealing with identity crisis in relationships
That’s how identity crisis begins. It’s not always loud. Sometimes, it shows up as subtle pressure to move at a pace that isn’t yours.
Many young people today are not really choosingtheir lives; they’re reacting to pressure.
Marriage: You see your peers getting married, and suddenly you feel like you’re late to the party even if deep down, you’re not ready. I know of a young woman who rushed into marriage because "all her friends were already wives.” A year later, she admitted she hadn’t wanted marriage yet; she only wanted to silence the fear of being left behind.
Body image: The rise of BBL culture and "perfect body” trends make so many young women feel like their natural beauty isn’t enough. It’s not about health anymore; it’s about pressure to fit an Instagram standard.
Money and status: From luxury cars to designer outfits, young men and women are often tempted to cut corners, chase fast money, or live beyond their means just to prove they’re "doing well.”
Some end up in debt, not because they lack ambition, but because they’re trapped in the need to "look successful.”
Career timelines: Graduating by 22, securing a high-paying job by 25, owning a home by 30 societies has drawn timelines that often don’t match our realities. Those who don’t meet them often feel inadequate, even when they’re making steady progress in their own lane.
On the surface, this pressure looks like motivation. But when it comes from outside, not inside, it becomes a silent trap.
Is pressure really a privilege?
We often hear the saying: "Pressure is a privilege.” And yes, in some ways, it can be.
Having expectations placed on you can mean that people believe in your potential. It can push you to grow, sharpen your skills, and prove what you’re capable of. For athletes, leaders, or professionals, pressure can be the fire that brings out excellence.
But here’s the flip side: pressure only feels like a privilege if you know who you are and where you’re going. Otherwise, it becomes a burden.
When you’re caught in an identity crisis, pressure convinces you that you must measure up to everyone else’s standards. Instead of pushing you toward purpose, it pulls you into performance. It stops being about growth, and starts being about survival.
So, the real privilege isn’t the pressure itself. The real privilege is having a clear identity and vision that allow you to choose which pressures to embrace and which ones to reject.
Fake it until you make it? How about "face it until you make it”?
We’ve all heard the phrase "fake it until you make it.”
But faking it often deepens the identity crisis it teaches us to wear masks, to smile when we’re struggling, to chase appearances instead of substance.
What if, instead, we chose to face it until we make it? To face our insecurities, our slow progress, our mistakes and grow through them? Because growth doesn’t come from pretending; it comes from confronting reality with courage. When you face it, you don’t lose yourself in the process of becoming. You arrive at success whole, not hollow.
Pressure vs. purpose
Here’s the truth: pressure without vision leads to identity crisis.
When you don’t know who you are or what you stand for, you’ll accept every trend as truth. You’ll bend yourself to fit into timelines, aesthetics, and lifestyles that aren’t yours.
But when you have vision, pressure stops controlling you. Instead, it fuels you.
Vision means knowing: