At 15, Esther Uwera was still in Senior Four when problems at home abruptly changed the course of her teenage years. Her parents separated, the family home was sold, and the eldest of four children found herself taking on responsibilities far beyond her age. Initially, Uwera tried to mediate between her parents, hoping she could somehow keep the family together. She eventually realised there was little she could do to stop the separation. Her mother remained with the children, but the family now had to rent a house and meet expenses ranging from food and rent to school requirements for the younger children. For Uwera, childhood quickly gave way to responsibility. “When parents separate, everyone has to continue with the responsibilities they have. But taking on responsibility when you are still young is not easy,” she says. “It takes away your childhood because you do not really have time to be a child. It immediately makes you an adult.” ALSO READ: First Lady: Opportunities should not be limited by where a child is born At the time, Uwera was receiving education support through the Mastercard Foundation. Although the money was intended to support her schooling, the financial difficulties at home meant she could no longer think only about herself. She began sharing some of the support with her mother to help meet the needs of her younger siblings. “I was being given money to use at school, but it became necessary for me to share it with my mother who was with us so that she could take care of the other children,” she recalls. Her siblings attended government primary schools, where tuition was not the biggest expense, but the family still needed money for scholastic materials, food and other household necessities. Uwera also took casual jobs to supplement what the family had. As the eldest child, she gradually became someone her siblings depended on for direction. “You feel that you are the person who should be looked up to because those behind you are all looking at you,” she says. “Even if they do not say it, you can see that they are looking at what you are doing and the direction you are giving them.” That responsibility influenced the choices she made. Uwera knew that losing direction in her own life could also affect the younger siblings watching her. “If I had become a drunkard or someone without direction in life, what kind of direction would I have given them?” she asks. ALSO READ: Four years after viral photo, former fruit vendor Uwikuzo completes S6 Sacrificing her own plans The responsibility came at a cost. While other young people her age had more freedom to socialise and enjoy their youth, Uwera was thinking about rent, food, school materials and the future of her siblings. After completing secondary school, she did not immediately continue with her studies. Instead, she spent time working and helping support the family before eventually returning to school. She later enrolled at the University of Lay Adventists of Kigali (UNILAK) to study Law. Looking back, Uwera says growing up under such pressure had both negative and positive effects. On one hand, it deprived her of part of her childhood. On the other, the responsibility forced her to become focused early in life. “When you take responsibility when you are still young, there are things that can affect you negatively, but there are also positive things,” she says. “One of the biggest things is that it prevents you from getting involved in things that have no direction and wasting your time because you know that you have a life ahead of you, and it is not only your life. It also concerns your family.” There were times, however, when the pressure became overwhelming. “At some point it became necessary for me to look for someone to help me with my thoughts,” she recalls. ALSO READ: It takes a village: Raising children in times of rapid change “You are in that situation where you are a child, but at the same time you are an adult.” Her mother, friends and youth groups she joined through the Rwanda National Youth Council became important sources of encouragement. “When you know that you are weak, you look for other people who can give you strength,” she says. Today, Uwera is 28. Her younger brother has completed university, while the youngest sibling is preparing to join university. On October 1, Uwera also graduated from UNILAK’s Faculty of Law, marking another milestone in a journey that began with a teenager struggling to keep her family moving forward. Lessons for young people Her experience has shaped how she views the choices young people make. Rwanda is currently running the Sober Gen campaign, which encourages young people to reject drug abuse and illicit alcohol and embrace healthier and more productive lifestyles. For Uwera, that message connects directly with the lessons she learnt while growing up under difficult circumstances. “When you are still young, that is the time when you have the energy and the opportunity to think about tomorrow,” she says. “If you spend that time on drugs or on things that waste your time, your future is damaged.” She acknowledges that financial difficulties, family problems and other pressures can push some young people towards alcohol or drugs in search of temporary relief. ALSO READ: Beyond the bottle: Rwanda’s youth embrace sober living But, she says, substances do not remove the underlying problem. “The problem will still be waiting for you,” she says. “You may end up adding another problem to the one you already had.” She also warns about peer pressure, saying young people should carefully choose the people and environments around them. For her, staying sober is not simply about avoiding alcohol or drugs, but protecting the future. “Life is good. Life is possible,” she says. “We should not look for peace in drugs.” Uwera believes young people also need strong support systems, particularly those growing up in unstable homes or difficult financial circumstances. Her message extends to parents, whom she says can give children direction even without material wealth. “You can give a child a good upbringing even if you do not have many material things,” she says. “Having money is not what gives a child good upbringing.” Today, Uwera works in the transport sector at Ecofleet, volunteers with the Rwanda Red Cross and remains involved in youth activities. The hardships that forced her to grow up at 15 took away part of her childhood. But they also shaped her understanding of responsibility, education and the importance of choices. Now, with a law degree and her siblings progressing with their own lives, she hopes other young people can learn those lessons without having to endure the same hardships.
