KWEZI AND I...The unnecessary and unsolicited pressure
It was a great weekend. Kwezi turned three and despite the financial constraints that come with January, we managed to do something small for her. It also helps that she is very young and that on my part, I am more inclined to smaller but more intimate gatherings than the big, rowdy parties that I enjoyed when I was younger.
Before we even get used to the fact that we just made three years on planet earth, it’s as if all of a sudden I am under some sort of “attack”. Forgive the dramatisation. I don’t know how many people look like they need to pick their jaw from the ground when they ask if Kwezi is in school and I say ‘no’, adding that as a matter of fact, she might not even be going till mid this year.
“Why?” they ask. “Why not”, I respond. I remember going to preschool but I don’t remember it being a must that we had to go at three. That, however, is not the point. People have different reasons why they take their toddlers to school. I have seen some even take their children when they are babies and it has a different name; day care centre. I am sure that each one of these parents has valid reasons why they made that choice. What I need people to understand is that we all cannot be the same. Our circumstances, structure and choices are different.
The main reason parents have given me for taking their children to school when they are toddlers is avoiding leaving them with nannies from whom they don’t necessarily pick the best manners. Some have told me that they did so because their children were very bored. Others were doing it because their friends were doing it.
Fortunately for Kwezi and me, she is lucky to be living in a house with another toddler; Jasmine, she has good manners thanks to the people that I entrust her with and she really will be ready when I say I am. No one should explain themselves about their choices but most importantly, no one should be involving themselves in another’s parenting business. It is delicate, sensitive and for most parents, even when you mean well, they tend to take it a little personal when you ask too many questions.