Disgruntled Single Female: You’re single until you’re married

I started the year on a rather odd note; by losing a friend. We were joking and laughing and laughing. And then she asked me if I’m ever going to stop being single. I said, “I don’t know.” And we laughed and laughed and then I asked her, “What about you? When are you going to stop being single?” And I laughed alone.

“I’m not single.” “Yes you are.You are not married, are you?” “But I have a boyfriend.” “Is that a legally recognized marital status?” Silence. End of friendship. Maybe I should apologise but then what am I supposed to say? That she is not single? But she is.

And it makes me sad that she doesn’t know it. That she, like a lot of other delusional females thinks that her marital status is ‘better’ than that of women who don’t have a boyfriend. It’s sad that she thinks she has the moral authority to call me ‘single’ in a derogatory manner.

I know that nowadays there is a blurred line between married couples and couples that are in courtship. Girls fight over “my man.” And they tag us in long social media posts about “finally” finding the love of their lives all the while oblivious to the fact that there is nothing final about a relationship.

Social media is kind enough to provide a wide range of marital statuses that are not necessarily legal but make people feel good about themselves. But it’s important not to get confused. The fact is that you are single until you get married.

You are single even if you have a boyfriend. It doesn’t matter that you play house every weekend. Cook. Wash. Pick up his socks. Fight about the fact that you have to pick up his socks. You are still single. Legally, religiously and societally.

You are single if you moved in with your boyfriend to showcase your wifely potential. Or to mark and guard your territory. Or because he said that he was planning to marry you anyway and it doesn’t really matter if you start living together now or later.

You are still single even if you have met his whole family and his mother calls you “my daughter” and you call her “mummy.” When you go to the bank and you have to fill forms, you will still have to put “single” as your marital status.

And the fact is that your boyfriend has no legal obligation towards you. It is within his legal right to date other girls while he is with you or abandon you altogether. It is frowned up yes, but he won’t be arrested for it.

That’s why this year henceforth;I will only take harassment from married women. (Men rarely harass me over being single).

The rest of you are not any different from me so you need to join me and we petition God for husbands. Or better yet, for the wisdom to realise that contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to first get married to feel happy and complete.