It is pretty awesome to meet someone and immediately click! But before you get carried away by Cupid and his arrow, here are a few things associated with people of certain professions; Journalists: The whole point of journalism is to write, or better –to communicate stuff about people and places and situations. So unless you are not human, dating a journalist will most likely end in you being the subject of one of their stories. It is the reason male journalists who are dating, or have ever dated a woman, will feel inclined to write about really personal stuff, while female scribes in a relationship, or that have dated in the past, may vent about foul breath and other bodily odors that stink like an old tortoise’s fart. Journalists also love their drink, and by drink I do not mean things like soda and ikinyomoro and ikivuguto and agashya and water and coffee and tea because who says that those are journalists’ drinks? So before tightening your noose around the neck of a man or woman of the pen, it’s absolutely paramount to first know what constitutes a drink. While beer and liquor are general stock-in-trade for hardened journalists, especially those that cover the less serious society bits of the news chain, this is not to expressly suggest that journos are happy spending the bigger part of their usually modest pay on liquid intoxicants. If anything, we journalists only tend to buy our own booze and food when we absolutely must. Otherwise, corporate news sources usually furnish us with enough stockpiles of drinks in the hope that this will translate into favourable reviews for their companies/products, which it usually does not. The other reason they insist on treating journalists to booze fests is because they know full well that most journalists will not turn up for those biscuits and salamis and samosas and tea and coffee events in hotel board rooms when there is a beer event the other side of town. Tour operators/guides: These ones are like journalists in as far as the laissez fair approach to life and the wander lust and the love for freebies and also the penchant for tattered t-shirts and faded jeans is concerned. The only major peculiarity about people in the Tours and Travel business, something that’s actually downright annoying about these people, is that there is no ‘Rwandan Francs’ in their vocabulary. The language that Tour Guides and Tour operators use is a different one; it’s the language of ‘dollars’ and ‘pounds’. Also, tour operators do not talk of banks but forex bureaus, perhaps because the forex bureau espouses more ‘dollars’ and ‘pounds’ than ‘Rwandan Francs’, which belong in the bank. Date a tour guide from Rwanda, or from any part of the African continent for that matter, and chances are that you will have to up your ‘American accent’, because most tour people in Africa like to speak that way, and for obvious, though not necessary reasons. Bar tenders: The major problem with this lot when it comes to the dating game, is the fact that when men see a bar maid, they see sex. Sad. Need I say more? Well, if you insist on dating one, consider enrolling for martial arts classes before you go down this route as you are sure to meet a few guys whose teeth you’ll be tempted to kick in. Musicians: Ever wondered why birds sing? Birds sing primarily for two known reasons; to attract the opposite sex, and to mark territory. The narrative does not change much when it comes to singing in humans, especially in the context of pop culture, and especially so for male musicians. Today, it’s a public secret that many young men are drawn to music and a life in showbiz because of the unlimited prospects that this career choice presents when it comes to accessing members of the opposite sex. I would say that if you can’t stand the mere thought that a man you love would offer their heart (or at least body) to another woman that is not you – then better safe than sorry. Accountants: Accountants are known for meaning business all 24 hours of their days, and seven days of their week. By meaning business I mean to say that these people never blink and definitely never let their guard down, ever! So an accountant will know when you buy celery of Rwf50 yet he gave you double that amount. If anything, it would be wise of you to demand for receipts upon every purchase that you make, be it toothpicks, sanitary tissue, doughnuts, or Ndi Umunyarwanda sweets for the little ones. Talking of Ndi Umunyarwanda sweets, that name is good and patriotic enough and indeed it’s always refreshing to see school kids noisily and rowdily making a purchase at the corner shop. The only thing that now needs to be done is to uproot the factory from Nairobi, Kenya where it’s presently located (or is it ‘mis-located’?) and bring it home –at the Special Economic Zone. If you are a man planning on dating an accountant, be prepared to make a full disclosure of all your income, down to the last coin, and that includes even the monetary dregs that you will have marshaled from your other side-hustles. This will be very vital to facilitate forward planning by your accountant girlfriend/wife. Taxi moto members: The good thing with dating a taxi moto guy is that you will never again be in want or in need of coins as they tend to have these in plenty. But make sure you find out a thing or two about his ways with women before you take that leap of faith. For if a taxi moto lad decides to cheat on you with multiple women, getting this truth out beyond reasonable doubt is likely to be a tag of war. If a moto guy chose to ferry his other women to a secret rendezvous all day long, no eye witnesses would be at hand to alert you of his wayward skirt-chasing behaviour. Because how can you know that the woman now straddled coyly at the back of his two-legged ride is his private business as opposed to work? Policemen: Cops generally do not get around to wearing so many other clothes than their official garb, so I’m thinking that a woman with a clothes shopping addiction should run for dear life as soon as ‘Mr Cop’ makes the very first romantic move. While journalists and tour operators move a lot in the course of their duties, the bane of the seasoned policeman is to obey job transfer orders from their superiors as frequently as they come. Today a cop is stationed at Kacyiru Police Post, tomorrow they are in Nyamata and a few months later, they shift to Nyabihu District. On a more positive note, dating a cop (male or female) brings with it a certain feel-good-factor that is generally associated with dating people in uniformed professions. Soldiers: Good soldiers are known for their unflinching courage, patriotism and adherence to a humanitarian/national cause. So learn a few songs or at least a few lines from some fine patriotic songs to fire up the warrior in him. Perfect your lines gradually and come up with something like this, just for him: Let us be like a soldier And defend our area Because our enemies are coming With their guns and ammunition Don’t fear them my soldier boy ‘Cos together’s when we’re strong. Doctors: Doctors are arguably the best people you can date. It’s pretty clear that when you fall sick at some ungodly hour in the night, they will be there to determine the problem and act accordingly. On your own, what you think is malaria, or something just as serious, might make you rush to the hospital only to be told you are seriously bloated! However, if you have a phobia for medicine, clinics and anything to do with sickness really, then stay away from doctors. Othersies, brace yourself for a medical explanation for every ‘issue’ – even the smallest pimple. They will hear you sneeze and immediately advise on what medication to take to help with your developing cold. The slightest headache might call for a scan and all the drama that comes with it. Sure, they might save you from a future disaster, but sometimes, you’d just like to stick to the good old honey, lemon and ginger combo your mum made you drink when you were down with a cold. Lawyers/Politicians: These two are pretty much one and the same. If there is one thing they are both brilliant at, it is sugarcoating the truth or just plain lying! You will face the death penalty and your lawyer will still try to convince you that it is not as bad as it looks. The politician will keep making promises of better things to come in the relationship and sadly, there’s a good chance they never will. Athletes: Dating an athlete is like dating a fitness guru. You can’t just eat burgers and chill on the couch all day with these ones. They will insist you also need the workout (which you most likely do) and nag you about joining them for a run or a few hours at the gym. Askaris: Because of their duty, they have been trained not to sleep. So, should you find yourself in love with these ‘night watchers’, should he get the night off, expect to find them fully awake in the middle of the night. For no particular reason. Just sitting there in bed – awake! We, of course, could not exhaust the entire list of professions here and how to go about dating their practitioners. So we will, for instance, talk about how to date a morgue attendant some other day. Your voice Would you consider one’s job to date them? Karen Bugingo - University student (Courtesy) What we do as a profession doesn’t define us entirely that’s why I think when it comes to relationships we should follow our hearts instead of dwelling on other factors that don’t matter that much. Lillian Umwali-Cashier (Courtesy) I wouldn’t mind about the profession of the person I am dating, what matters the most is someone’s heart because a job can change at any time. As long as we get along well and truly love each other, that’s what is important. Charles Shyaka - University student (Courtesy) There are certain factors that one has to consider in the dating field, especially when one is planning on settling, and a profession is one of them. What you do influences your other aspects of life, including relationships. Marrying a doctor would mean only seeing them a few times and this can impact a relationship in a negative way. Paul Rwakahungu-Compliance and Risk Officer, UAExchange (Courtesy) I definitely would have to consider that. Sometimes what one does as a profession impactss their personal character, for example, lawyers tend to be arrogant so I wouldn’t go for them because getting along with that kind of person could be hard for me. editorial@newtimes.co.rw
