Raped at 13, soldiering on ...

She was only 13 years old. As she was returning home from watching a movie in the local cinema, a man in his mid 20s approached her with what he said was a message from her mother who, the man claimed, had sent him to inform her that she was needed immediately at their small family farm. The girl obliged and rushed to the farm. She looked around but her mom was nowhere to be seen. Unknown to her, the man had used a back road. Within seconds he grabbed her and forced himself on her. Left for dead after the harrowing ordeal, she managed to scream for help. Help did come, but a bit too late. She was taken to the district hospital where she was treated for the injuries she had sustained. Further tests would be conducted in the weeks that followed, to ensure that she hadn’t acquired any sexually transmitted infections as a result of the assault. Fortunately, she hadn’t. The assault, however, had led to a pregnancy. The health workers who treated her plotted to tell her parents first. Thereafter, they would have to sit down with the girl, herself a child, and try to help her come to terms with the fact that she was now an expectant mother. News such as this is never easy to communicate. However, here was a child who was about to learn something that would alter her life significantly. She was only in primary six at the time of the assault. She was now faced with a new reality, adulthood forced onto her. And with that, circumstances dictated that she starts making sacrifices that should never be expected of someone in her age category. Any decision about her life necessarily impacted the life chances of another human being. One dilemma she faced was whether she would continue with school. How would her classmates receive her? Would they support her or would they denigrate her? Was it all worth it given that a couple of years down the line she would have to decide whether she or the child goes to school? These are difficult questions. For any child, they represent double jeopardy, additional anxiety on top of the traumatic effects that victims of sexual assault are faced with, even before they have to deal with how society perceives them. In most places around the world the burden of the crime of sexual violence such as rape is placed on the victim. In some parts of the world raped women have been stoned to death, accused of bringing shame onto their families and the community in which they live. Abused girls are considered socially undesirable and usually find it difficult to find husbands later in life. Consequently, abused women and girls find it difficult to report the assault to the authorities and to seek the treatment and support they need. Which makes the testimony of the little girl in rural Rwanda all the more important. She is telling her story so that others may seek and get help. For her, she was able to access care from the Isange One Stop Centre for victims of gender based violence and child abuse. Its officials are happy that more victims are reporting the abuse, which then brings them into contact with the services offered by the Centre. The centre provides ‘holistic’ support offered by a medical doctor for physical violence, a psychiatrist for psychological violence, a forensic expert, and a judicial police officer for initiating criminal proceedings. The 13-year old girl returned to school two years after the rape. Next year she will sit for her senior six exams and prepare to go to university. She says she will pass the national exams because she can’t afford to fail; if not for herself, at least for her child.

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Raped at 13, soldiering on ...