Ask me one thing that lightens me up, excites me, keeps me going and boosts my confidence, and I would say, ‘compliments.’ For some reason, compliments carry so much zeal and positivism. That feeling of “wow, someone noticed something about me,” is captivating. A compliment can be described as a polite expression of praise or admiration of someone. Last week I passed by the salon. Its a natural hair salon in Remera where I usually do my hair. I just wanted to wash and comb my hair, simple. Unfortunately, it was pretty crowded, so I had to sit and wait patiently for my turn. As I looked through the mirror, there was a reflection of a lady with an afro staring at me—but it didn’t seem like a rude stare. She smiled faintly, and her eyes were communicating something, though I couldn’t put a finger on what exactly it was. ‘Did I look familiar? Had she seen me somewhere?’ I wondered but only briefly, before turning to my phone to beat the boredom. Well, I kept waiting patiently to be attended to, but this same lady who happened to be a customer in the salon, approached me and told me how she loved my hair. “Your hair looks so healthy, nice, thick and dark. Do you have specific hair products that you use?” she asked. Of course I don’t give much attention to my hair, I can even oil it once in two or three weeks. It’s naturally like that. But I recommended the coconut oil I was using. She was impressed and she asked if she could touch and feel my hair texture, which I accepted. She did that for a minute and walked away with a beam. I was mesmerised by the time and energy she radiated. It isn’t the first time I have received a compliment about my natural hair, at least every day, I get someone to remind me of how nice it is—a thing that keeps me delighted. But it sounds different and positive every time someone says it to me, to be sincere. The times people have admired, appreciated or acclaimed my character, smartness, kindness, vigour, and so forth, have made me feel valued, loved, noticed, happy, and some positivity burning inside me. When people notice the good in you, automatically you learn to appreciate the little things about you and in the end, learn to believe in yourself. Usually, when people appreciate me for something, before I respond with “thank you”, I give a warm smile. I know the strength and courage it takes to speak it out, not everyone can give compliments even when they see something unique or good about you. Sometimes some people may be jealous or don’t want others to be better than them, so they can’t stand the pretence of praising you when deep down they want to be in your shoes, people are different and our uniqueness is what makes us human, anyway. Compliments don’t actually have to be about a person’s appearance, sometimes you can just appreciate someone for how professionally they handled a matter, or how they’re great cooks, talented in music or soccer or good at parenting, et cetera. I believe looking for the good in others is a great virtue we all need to have, though it’s expensive for everyone to afford. There is nothing as interesting as learning to receive a compliment, and giving one. The world would be more positive if the two are mastered. Compliments thrust motivation. There are people who have given up on themselves, perhaps they don’t think they can amount to anything great, but as you give them compliments, you’re actually sowing a seed of encouragement, incitement, impulse, purpose and many more. Kind regards spread love. Whether you know someone or not, once they let out a compliment, it crafts a level of love and respect and eventually promotes healthy interactions. Giving compliments comes easy for me, probably because I pay attention to details, and I can’t keep quiet if I see something good about someone. I have learned to spread positivity and allow people to know how I appreciate them. Just like how sweet it sounds when I hear it from others, is the same I would wish for others. However, compliments should be genuine, not just throwing them out when you don’t mean them or just to impress.
