The reason we need language skills is to be able to express ourselves to the world around us. We explain our ideas to people and win others towards us through language.
Experts have several ways in which people can use language tool to expand their attraction of the world around them but the plain way is being polite.
You do not need to use phrases that begin with verbs or “I want…” because it carries the sense of demanding someone to do your desires.
Suppose someone told you: “give me that book” and another: “can I have a look at that book”. Both of them are trying to say they need the book but the first one is commanding while the second one sounds like proposing something for you to take decision upon.
It is advisable to keep your language in requesting manner other than commanding.
Use phrases such as could you; may I; do you mind if…; I wonder if; I was wondering whether; and many more.
Suppose someone wanted you at a time you are not available, when you are too busy to attend to them.
It is not polite to just tell them “I’m not available”. You can rather say “Could you give me a minute/ an hour?” or “can/could we talk a little later?”
In case one has failed to get you time and you would prefer they tell you when they can be available, just say “Let me know when you’re available” and avoid saying “Tell me when you’re available”.
You do not need to refuse something by plainly saying “no”. You can rather say “I’m afraid not”
Seek information and help with phrases such as I wonder if/ whether.
For instance: “I wonder if you could lend me a pen” or “I was wondering whether you would direct me to the bus park”.
Say: I think you might be mistaken or I’m not sure you’re right and avoid saying: you’re wrong.
Endeavour to thank people for what they did for you and say you’re welcome to people who thanked you.
When you find yourself in a mistake, always apologise and say: “I’m sorry”.
The writer is a professional English Language instructor