This is a joke right?

Fifty percent of a relationship is love and the other is sex, so if he’s only lasting sixty seconds, it’s not going to work – well - at least not for me. I know it is not cool to talk about these things but we are going to have to, aren’t we? Some women pretend that this issue isn’t that big a deal when in reality it is arguably the biggest deal breaker in relationships. Personally, a one-minute man is the ultimate deal breaker after bad breath! I can’t imagine anything worse than meeting a super-hot guy, with abs the size of Kimihurura – only to find out his ‘sessions’ don’t last any longer than my thoughts of being the president of the United States of America someday.Men love sex, that is not news…but so do women. No matter how hard they try to convince themselves that it is not of any serious importance and that men should calm down. Sex is perhaps the reason people fall in love, forget all that hogwash of ‘what’s in the heart is what matters’.It’s what happens under the sheets that keeps a relationship hot and heavy…those sessions where you find yourself speaking in tongues! There, I have said it. Now some women can comfortably creep out of that shell they are coiled in, pretending everything is okay when in fact, everything is far from okay.I’m sure there are ways to get a man to go further than a minute or so - like prolonged foreplay or something - I don’t know, ask the experts. But you see, I don’t have that patience, neither am I here to school a man on how to be a porn star. No one is perfect…yes, I know that…but imperfection is pronouncing some words weird, or blinking way too much, or singing like you are cursed – those are imperfections I can live with. This one-minute business is just ridiculous and that is how some women start meeting strange men in bushes and hotel rooms. Again, you can come out, I said it for you. There is nothing more depressing and frustrating than kissing a guy and within seconds of anything beyond third base, he has dropped enough semen to make a daycare centre - calling it a wrap immediately after and feeling very pleased with himself! The frustration and urge to scream into pillow would be too much for me to handle, and I am not one to compromise to such lengths. So to avoid the drama, I’d rather wait for that guy whose skills put some porn stars to shame. After all, isn’t that what we all want? Call me bold…at least I’m not in denial!