The modern age has taught us the different ways people desire to be loved, and whether it's quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, or other love languages, there’s no mistaking that it’s always a good time to show love to the mothers in one’s life.
That said, today is Mother’s Day; it is celebrated on different days in many parts of the world, most commonly in the months of March or May. It is a celebration honouring the mother of the family or individual, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society. And so the time to go all out is upon us.
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Whether or not the mother in question is yours, people that take on a maternal role in one’s life ought to be appreciated, and the gesture or gift to friends that are mothers, or people that fill that role could significantly reassure them, and make for a self-esteem boost.
Curated around a variety of love languages, here are some suggestions on how to celebrate the mothers in your life on their special day.
For mothers whose preferred love language is acts of service, shows of affection involve doing activities that give them a sense of comfort and joy, such as taking care of tasks they don't necessarily enjoy, like picking up groceries or cleaning the house. A home-cooked meal prepared for them, and not by them, could also go a long way.
"I don’t enjoy consistent grocery runs but every now and then my daughter offers to go, and that takes a weight off. I appreciate when the children help me run errands,” says Ritah Kayitesi, a mother of four.
If your mother craves quality time or you haven’t seen her in a long time, carving out uninterrupted time and arranging activities you can do together, like taking her to a movie and dinner after, might be a great way to get together.
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Treating the mother to a side-by-side mani-pedi or massage might make space to not only indulge in self-care but also create an environment for reconnection and spa dates and foster companionship.
"Most of my children have grown into their own and we don’t see each other often because everyone seems to have a busy life. We try to celebrate holidays and milestones together and for Mother’s Day last year, they organised brunch with my sisters and me, and that made up for lost time,” says Nicole Rutayisire, a mother of three.
Another ideal way to carve out some good quality time would be to play card games like Deeper Conversations by Dominique Alonga which are guaranteed to strengthen and improve relationships, platonic and otherwise.
When it comes to people whose prominent love language has to do with gifts, the options are eminent. The value of the gifts doesn’t rely on how expensive they are but rather how they are. Could be something she mentioned in passing, or something you are absolutely sure she’ll enjoy, and here are a few gift suggestions.
A refill of her favourite perfume or fragrance could be a good idea, but so would scented candles or room fragrances for living spaces.
Women love their bags and snatching one she’s been eyeing for some time or a bag that would fit well with her lifestyle, or her personal style, something that pairs well with her fashion sense would be an ideal gift to receive on Mother’s Day.
If you’re still in a bind, now is a good time as any to remember that time Marilyn Monroe said "Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Find out what accessories the mothers you would like to celebrate like most and make a purchase they would find sentimental. If the mother you are gifting does not have a smartwatch, for example, the upgrade could be an ideal gift. Necklaces, statement earrings, and bracelets could fall in that category as well.
A nice bouquet of one’s favourite flowers is a welcome gesture, but pairing it with a thoughtful note and ensuring the person receiving them doesn’t have allergies that pertain to flowers helps.
If the mom you’re thinking of gifting is a literature fanatic, might I suggest a memoir from the likes of Oprah, Michelle Obama, or Gabrielle Union who recently released books, or if she’s got a flair for royal trauma, Prince Harry’s "Spare” might be a good read? If she’s more of a fiction lady, books like ‘Americanah’ by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, ‘What’s Mine and Yours’ by Naima Coster, and ‘Milk and Honey’ for an abstract/realist perspective have the potential to be good gifts.
"I don’t get to see my children often but when I do especially for an occasion, I always receive good gifts from them. My eldest gave me a bracelet engraved with the initials of all my children, and my daughter likes refilling my perfumes and takes me on spa dates when she can. I wish I had more time with them, however, I am grateful for all the effort they put into communicating with me,” adds Rutayisire.
Are you looking to affirm the mother figures around you? Writing a heartfelt letter attributing your gratitude towards them and highlighting all the ways they added value to your life is the way to go.
However, gifting them affirmation books like ‘After the Rain’ by Alexandra Elle could be complementary. For those who receive love through words of affirmation, acknowledging their wins, big and small alike is important. Telling them you’re proud, and verbally expressing your feelings towards them will most likely evoke the feeling that they are cared for.
"My daughter is 8 years old and she writes letters for everything. She writes to me on Women’s Day, Mother’s Day, Christmas, and for birthdays and wedding anniversaries. It warms my heart that she appreciates me and I have come to look forward to the letters and notes.” Says Sandrine Kayihura, a first-time mother.
Showing affection to the mother figures in one’s life through physical touch consists mostly of hugs which evoke a sense of companionship.