Liliane Gahima is a mother of two who says being a mother is the most fulfilling and the hardest job she has ever had. The public relations practitioner based in Musanze District says she ensures her children are comfortable, well-dressed, and loved, but often forgets herself. She only realises she needs shoes or clothes when almost all she has doesn't fit anymore.ALSO READ: Thoughtful Mother’s Day gift ideas to make her feel truly specialAs a widow with a demanding job and frequent travels, Gahima relies on nannies since her family, though supportive, lives far away. She says mothers also need support that goes beyond childcare, including reminders that they too matter and that their wellbeing is essential for their children.ALSO READ: Life after birth: How mothers should cope with postpartum depression“Widows, working mothers, single mothers, every mother, we are not alone, but we need to be told that we matter, we need support systems. We need to prioritise our needs at times without feeling guilty about it,” Gahima said in an interview with The New Times.Mothers carry home responsibilities, work, and daily life, without pause. While fulfilling, the load can be overwhelming, and many call for stronger physical and psychological support at home and in workplaces.This year's Mother's Day, observed on Sunday, May 10, is themed “The Great Unburdening.” This theme focuses on reducing the mental load and emotional pressure on mothers, while recognising the realities of motherhood today.ALSO READ: My stepmother is my heroAccording to Maggie Mwesige Kwezi, who lives in Kicukiro District, motherhood comes with moments of joy and wonder as she watches her two children grow and discover the world.“It's a beautiful, exhausting job,” said the mother of a two-year-old and an 11-month baby. “You get to watch these little people experience everything for the first time. It's such a joy to be a mother and know that I am fully responsible for them. It's such a tough responsibility because there is no signing out for the day.” She said the daily demands of parenting can be mentally and physically draining, especially when managing a toddler’s constant need for attention and discipline.Kwezi also noted that motherhood can feel isolating, since she is a stay-at-home mother.She said support from a partner makes a significant difference.“It helps if you have someone to relieve you for some hours so you can regain your sanity. We need time to go somewhere, even just to clear the mind. It also helps to have a community to share struggles with and check on mothers,” she said.Kwezi added that her husband is very involved, helping with bathing the children, putting them to sleep, and keeping them engaged, which allows her time to rest or spend time outside with friends, catch a movie or read a book.“My husband even sources out hangout opportunities so I can go out and chill,” she said.Jane Abatoni Gatete is the Managing Director of the Center for Peace, Resilience and Wellbeing, an NGO that integrates mental health and peacebuilding into youth and community programmes.She said Mother’s Day highlights strength and sacrifice, but rarely the emotional and mental strain mothers carry daily.“Mothers spend so much of their lives caring for others, supporting families, managing homes, balancing work, and holding everything together, yet their own wellbeing is too often overlooked. Many experience exhaustion, stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, and emotional burnout in silence,” she said.She noted that mothers need structured support systems at home and in workplaces to ease this burden.Gatete added that much of the pressure comes from an invisible load that includes caregiving, emotional labour, household duties, financial pressure, and work expectations.She urged shared domestic responsibility, noting that equal involvement from partners and family members in childcare and household work reduces the strain significantly.Mothers need time for rest, personal expression, and social connection beyond caregiving roles. Emotional support, she added, should allow mothers to express exhaustion or distress without fear of judgment.Gatete noted that mental health challenges such as postpartum depression, chronic stress, and burnout are under-discussed, with limited access to counselling and community support.For working mothers, she pointed to workplace pressures and called for flexible arrangements such as remote work and adaptable schedules.The mental health expert added that both maternity and paternity leave are needed in sharing caregiving responsibilities.“Mothers are sometimes unfairly viewed as less available or less ambitious. Workplace culture must challenge the ‘motherhood penalty,’” she said.Gatete added that meaningful support includes counselling services, wellness programmes, and safe workplace environments.She said change should go beyond recognition and requires shared responsibility at home, stronger community systems, and workplace policies that recognise caregiving as essential work.Women in the workforce continue to face gaps, including limited access to childcare facilities, breastfeeding rooms, and flexible work arrangements. Many remain concentrated in low-paying informal jobs and are underrepresented in sectors such as ICT, engineering, construction, and transport.Leadership representation in parts of the private sector, though improving, is still limited.Rwanda’s legal and policy frameworks already provide for maternity and paternity leave, childcare facilities, workplace equality measures, and protections against harassment, but full implementation is key to easing the burden on working mothers.
