A video from a local news outlet has gone viral, reporting cases of conjugal rape, where it is alleged that husbands force their wives to engage in sexual acts they don’t want, and allegedly beating them up when they refuse.

From the report, these are not isolated cases. Women in the same neighbourhood which is in the countryside, say their husbands watch pornographic videos and when they return home, they demand that they imitate with their wives what the actors were doing.

The comment section from a post by a local journalist on Twitter is littered with laughing emojis and comments calling out these women for being ‘backward’ very few commentators actually took it for what it is; marital rape.

Marital rape is a topic that is widely brushed off with "isn’t he her husband?” But when you actually think about it, the consequences that arise from this crime in marriage or outside of it are the same.

Article 137 in the Rwandan Penal Code determines that one who sexually assaults their spouse would be punished with up to five years in prison.

This punishment shows a much wide gap from that of rape which is not marital, which determines from 10 years of imprisonment to life sentence.

The discrepancy alone shows that one is a lighter crime, despite having the same effects on victims and societies.

The 2019-2020 Rwanda Demographic Health Survey reported that 14 per cent of ever married women were physically forced to have sexual intercourse, 8 per cent were physically forced to perform other sexual acts they didn’t want to, and 7 per cent were forced with threats or in any other way to perform those sexual acts.

The marital rape culture whose victims rarely report is without doubt mostly entrenched by sociocultural and political ideologies, including interpretations of the institution of marriage which is mainly influenced by culture and religion.

Teachings in cultural and religious settings emphasise to never deprive a spouse of their sexual needs or wants, which may create thoughts of entitlement to one’s body.

The way marital rape is treated in society and in the law needs to change. Being married to someone does not make the life-long effects of rape to a victim any easier. Adequate support for victims including justice and mental health support should also be prioritized.

Most importantly, the lesson of sexual consent should be widely taught, preferably from a young age and in all settings. Marriage should not be an excuse for rape, and if we start treating marital rape like any other sex crime, we will have made our contribution to ending the rape culture that persists.