Dear Aunt Silvia,
I am a young single girl and a genocide survivor. My entire family was killed in the 1994 genocide. I was left all alone at the age of seven years.

This month is usually very bad for all of us and I can’t stop having nightmares.

We have been told and taught to forgive and forget- but I find it very hard in me to do that. Due to my attitude I find it very hard to be in relationships because I can’t seem to give anyone my love. What will I do to move on?

Sonia.

Dear Sonia,
As much as we know that forgiving and forgetting is difficult since we are human, we have to learn to at least forgive even if forgetting is usually difficult.

Why you are advised to forgive is so that you can free yourself from the internal turmoil.

Commissions have been set up so that people like you can be helped to learn how to forgive and forget, so that the perpetrators can be brought to book, confess their sins and be forgiven, because after everything that happened in 1994 we must work very hard not to let such a thing happen again.

And it is through you and me that the future of this country may look bright and promising if only we let go of what happened, forge ahead and work together as brothers and sisters for the betterment of our country, so that our children and the children after, can live in peace and harmony.

As for relationships, you can only experience love once you free yourself from the bondage of hatred my dear daughter, let go and try your best to forgive- then love will come your way once you have peace in your life.

Right now it will be difficult to show love to anyone if all you have inside your heart is contempt. It will not be easy at first, but a journey of a thousand miles starts with a step.

As we remember our loved ones this year, let us pray to God to continue keeping their souls in eternal peace as He also gives us peace in our hearts to forgive those who hurt us.

Ends