Nobody likes being told off. Not at work, not at home, and definitely not in public. Yet feedback, that uncomfortable truth wrapped in awkward timing, is one of the most powerful gifts we’ll ever receive. Still, we treat it like spinach: good for us, but only in theory.

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I’ve come to learn that how we receive feedback says more about our maturity than how we give it. Whether in business or life, it’s easy to say, "We’re open to feedback.” It’s harder to hear, "You dropped the ball.”

I remember my father once telling me, "Laura, you speak too fast, like a kasuku!” (For non-Swahili speakers, that’s a parrot.) It stung. For a while, I avoided speaking around him because I didn’t want to hear that again. But years later, I realized he was right. I enrolled myself in public-speaking platforms to master the art of slowing down, speaking with purpose, and communicating with clarity. Today, that same piece of feedback, the one that bruised my ego, became the foundation of my confidence as a trainer. That’s the beauty of feedback: it can polish what pride tries to protect.

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But not everyone handles it well. I once gave feedback to a business owner on why they might not be getting enough bookings. I had observed things from a guest’s perspective, small but critical details. Instead of listening, they shot back, "What do you know about my business?”

The truth is, as an outsider, I might not know everything about your systems or strategy. But I do know how your customer feels and that’s the part that decides whether your business grows or fades.

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When you hear the same comment more than once, about your food, your staff, your waiting times, it’s no longer an opinion. It’s insight. Dismissing it doesn’t make it disappear. It only means someone else will use that same feedback to serve your customers better. We’ve seen it happen before, businesses that ignore small cracks until they become headlines. Sometimes the issue isn’t bad service; it’s bad listening.

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Most of us respond to feedback with three reflexes: denial, defence, and deflection. We deny, "That’s not true.” We defend, "We were short-staffed that day.” We deflect, "Other companies do worse.” And just like that, we lose the chance to learn.

But I’ve also witnessed the opposite, moments in training where participants received feedback with openness. Instead of getting defensive, they lean in and asked, "What made you say that?” or "How can I improve?” Those are the ones who grow. They understand feedback doesn’t always come wrapped in kindness; sometimes it arrives in frustration. But if you listen through the emotion, there’s almost always truth in it.

In my training sessions, I teach teams to pause before reacting, to separate feedback from emotion, and to ask clarifying questions instead of defending. It’s a skill that takes humility, but it builds credibility.

Then there’s the new era of "feedback replies.” You’ve seen them: "Dear valued customer, thank you for your feedback. We’ll take this into consideration.” That’s not feedback management; that’s feedback avoidance.

I’ve even seen companies reply using AI, perfectly polite, completely hollow. AI can help you write faster, but it can’t care for your customer. A human touch is what turns feedback into a relationship. Add context, empathy, and truth. Otherwise, your customers can tell when it’s copy-paste compassion.

Feedback is free consulting. You don’t have to hire an expert; your customers are already telling you what’s working and what isn’t. The real question is: are you listening, and more importantly, are you acting? Ignoring feedback is like ignoring a health warning light on your dashboard. You can keep driving, but don’t be surprised when the engine fails.

Customer experience is a relationship. Like any long-term relationship, it takes effort, honesty, and regular check-ins. You can’t just show love once a year during Customer Service Week and ignore each other the rest of the time. You have to listen, compromise, and communicate even when it’s uncomfortable. In relationships, when your partner says, "We need to talk,” it’s not the beginning of a fight, it’s an opportunity to fix what’s broken. The same applies to customers. Feedback means they still care enough to talk to you. The real danger is silence. When customers stop complaining, they’ve already moved on quietly, permanently.

So, here’s my question for every business owner, leader, and team member reading this: when someone tells you the truth, do you fix your crown or throw the mirror? Next time a customer gives you feedback, take a breath. Listen fully. Thank them. Then show them you heard by taking action. Feedback only has value when it’s followed by change.

Because the truth may hurt, but ignorance costs more.

The author is a certified hospitality trainer and founder of Outstanding Solutions Afrika, a boutique hospitality and tourism consulting firm dedicated to transforming service excellence.