Social pressures are pushing some young Rwandans to spend money on things they may not need, driven by external validation, the influence of peers, the fear of being left out or family demands. As such, they end up overspending and landing in financial stress.

ALSO READ: Eight social pressures draining young Rwandans’ wallets

The New Times talked to several young people about what they think can be done to get out of the social pressures and keep healthy boundaries, and to ask for help from a therapist. Here is what they had to say.

Tony Ishimwe, basketball player

What has helped me is maintaining a long-term vision. I have a clear idea of the person I aspire to be, someone solid, dependable, and self-sufficient and able to build a future for my family. This mindset makes it easier to decline things that do not align with my path. I have also learned to surround myself with people who value authenticity over appearances. Constantly being around those who measure worth by clothing or spending can be draining; that is not real friendship to me.

ALSO READ: The hidden cost of peer pressure: How social trends can lead to financial ruin

Rebecca Himbazwa, sales representative

To manage social pressure, I have become more mindful of my spending habits and budgeting. I focus on experiences rather than material possessions. Additionally, I communicate my boundaries to friends and family.

Sifah Rwema Uwase, university graduate

I chose to step away from certain social circles because the more I tried to fit in, the more I realized I did not truly belong. It hurt my feelings to try so hard to conform.

Edmond Dufatanye, therapist and group work practitioner

The first step in managing social pressure is self-awareness, understanding how peer pressure influences your choices and pulls you away from your personal, familial, or cultural values. Consider the consequences of continuing as you are versus making a change. Ask yourself: Is this pressure addressing a deeper emotional gap from childhood? Is it linked to something unresolved? If you find it difficult to change these patterns on your own, do not hesitate to seek guidance from a mental health professional. Help is available, and healing is possible.

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Francine Gaelle Umutoni, Kigali resident

I have discovered that focusing on my responsibilities helps me manage pressure effectively. I prioritize what truly matters and avoid spending just to keep up with others. Although it is not always easy, reminding myself of my goals makes it simpler to say no when necessary.

Annette Umurerwa Gaju, entrepreneur

I had to clarify my values and priorities by writing down my short- and long-term goals. Seeing them on paper made it easier to say no to things that did not align with my values. I practiced the art of saying no and established boundaries without feeling guilty. I built confidence in my identity, reminding myself that I do not need to buy my way into belonging here or there. My kindness, creativity, and energy are enough. Real friends care about me, not my shoes, bags, or selfies.

Andersonne Uwineza, creative artist

Genuine relationships do not require financial investment. When we stop spending to belong, we start to belong for real.