Building a long-lasting relationship is always work-in-progress. It never ends. You keep working on this and that to make it function.

However, one of the key pillars of a strong relationship is communication and when it fails everything else can fail. Sometimes we go into relationships without paying much attention to the way we communicate with our partners.

"Maybe he will improve or change when we settle down. Maybe she is adjusting to me.” These are some of the excuses we come up with when we are in a relationship whose communication abilities are wanting.

Once you are in the deep end, you realise that nothing is changing, maybe the communication got even worse but you still hang in there. This eventually leads to an awkward relationship which yields awkward conversations.

Communication in a relationship is key. All Photos/Net

Most times you will not talk to avoid annoying or angering each other, sometimes you let go of certain subjects just for the sake of it. As this goes on for so long, communication completely breaks down and most probably the relationship will follow in that direction.

Experts say a relationship can only thrive if communication is efficient. The things you are not talking about because you want to avoid conflict are the same things that will cause conflict in future when they pile up.

It is, therefore, important for couples to continuously make an effort to not just communicate but also communicate better and effectively.

Remove all the things that stand in the way of good communication, whether it is stress, nervousness, anger or simply resistance. Avoiding dialogue in a relationship breeds hatred and accomplishes nothing.

There are few tips you can follow to make communication in a relationship effective and flawless.

Listen to your partner

Listening well is one of the essential and effective ways for partners to communicate. Listening leads to opening one’s heart and saying things one wouldn’t have otherwise said because you were not paying attention.

Experts say men will most probably pay less attention to their partners than women. Men are naturally wired to think that their word is final.

Even though you could have made up your mind on something, it is ok to ask your partner ‘what do you think?’ This will open up a conversation and eventually you will do something you both agree on.

Do not brush aside your partner when he or she is trying to talk to you. It will lead to a breakdown in communication and the consequences could be dire. The wise open their ears.

Choose an appropriate time to say things

While you and your partner could be stuck together for life, it does not mean that you can talk to them about anything you want at any given time. Certain conversations brought out at the wrong time can be a source of conflict.

When interacting with our loved ones, we must learn when and how to do it. Nobody enjoys being taken aside as they walk through the door from work or when they are in a hurry. Please avoid surprises.

If it is a sensitive subject that could lead to a quarrel, go to your room where nobody will hear you and close the door behind you. Do not bring up conversations about bills back home while on vacation. You will find time to talk about that.

Mind your tone

Sometimes we do communicate but we forget that the tone we use can kill what would have otherwise been a good chat about an issue. Begin with an offer to talk when both of you have time and are not stressed out by work or other obligations. Start the conversation in a nice way. Continue by assuring your partner of how important the relationship is to you. Show your appreciation for your partner’s openness to discuss the challenging matter and cooperate to find a solution. Do not raise your voice at any given point. 

Don’t argue in public

Do not start arguing in public. Take the argument back at home. Arguing or angering each other in public will only expose you.