Many of us take relationships for granted. Whether married or simply dating, most times we sit back and wait for some sort of magic to make the relationship work without any little effort.
Experts say that there is no perfect couple or relationship -even those that seem so are all work in progress. In fact, relationships can only get better if worked upon. If both of you are indifferent, it might not stand the test of time.
Relationships need continuous effort from both partners and it is important to understand and accept that every single person is different before you dive deep into a love affair. How you manage those differences will really determine how long it will last.
Below are some tips to keep the fire burning, suggested by Asha Vaghasia, a relationship and parenting coach and Dr Kriti Israni, a Child Development and Parenting Expert and Founder of Hale & Hearty kids, both based in India. The tips below were first published in the Hindustan Times.
It is very essential to trust your partner physically and emotionally. Net photo
Listen, accept, and communicate transparently: The first thing one must do is to listen to what the other person is saying, accept it and communicate transparently about it. We generally don’t listen to understand, we listen to react and that always brings negativity. To avoid misunderstandings and conflicts, one must be present emotionally, mentally, and physically and actively listen to what the other person is saying and communicate honestly. We all are different, and accept our behavioural patterns, qualities, and flaws. This should help you understand each other better.
Compromise and let go: Things may not happen the way we expect or like. That is when we have to compromise or let go of certain things and move on. Relationships sometimes are more important than ego. Instead of sticking to your point, just let go and move on. This will help you save your relationship from unnecessary conflicts.
Trust and commitment: Trust is the base of all relationships. It is very essential to trust your partner physically and emotionally. Don’t doubt or suspect them always for the way they behave. Respect each other’s space and time mutually, communicate transparently and support each other during tough times. Life’s easier with commitment. Interestingly enough, it’s not always the personality, compatibility, or physical appearance that keeps the relationship going, mostly, it’s always how we interact with each other – how we speak with each other - how much we accept the flaws and try to understand each other.
Be flexible and patient: Another important pillar in a relationship is being flexible and open to changes in personalities, expectations, and life. We are constantly evolving and changing; no person is going to stay the same. Our experiences and nature are continuously moulding our brains. Our hormones also keep changing throughout the course of life which impacts our behaviours. We have to stay open to accept changes in both of us in order for the relationship to thrive. It is important to have an open heart for accepting our feelings and that of others.
Be respectful and value boundaries: Last, but not least, we have to be respectful. We need to be respectful of our partner’s boundaries if we expect ours to be considered. You have to maintain a balance between having open communication and being flexible while being respectful. Respect and trust are vital in a healthy and strong relationship. The negativity of being disrespected goes further in negatively impacting a person’s thought process and creates a negative ripple effect. The consequences of which are self-blame, blaming life and others, and losing faith in having a meaningful relationship.
Laugh more: Laughing is good for the soul. It makes us happy and helps us forget about our problems. Plus, it shows that you care. A lot of people think that laughing at their partner’s jokes is mean but actually, it’s quite the opposite. Laughter is infectious; so by making your partner laugh, you are helping yourself as well. You might even find that you enjoy doing these things together and who knows, maybe you’ll discover a new side of each other in the process of finding joy together.
Make your relationship a priority: One of the best methods to get better at your relationship is to prioritise your relationship and your partner. Always make your partner feel like they are the centre of the universe. Understand their love language and be authentic with them while expressing your love in the love language that they appreciate. This will always make them feel like they're the most important person in your life. Plan date nights, plan sex nights, plan time together.
Increase your sexual intimacy: You don't need to be a sex fiend but you should definitely try and make it more fun for the both of you. If one or both of you are feeling bored in bed then there is something that can help you out. You need to explore each other more, add a few things to spice it up and stop being guarded. Good luck.