Ever so often, we face challenges in life, sometimes one after another, or at the same time, and thoughts of giving up creep up. It is even more trying when you are far away from loved ones.

This is the story of 39-year-old Prosie Tsapwe, who has been living in Rwanda since 2015, but for the past two years, has faced a rollercoaster ride of events that only resilience can handle. 

Tsapwe moved to Rwanda in 2015 from Uganda when a teaching opportunity for a special needs child came up. At the time, all she wanted was to explore more and change the environment around her.

"I didn’t really have plans to come to Rwanda, but then I said well, I need to get out of Uganda and see if I can do something better for myself. I needed room to explore more,” Tsapwe says.

"So, when I came to Rwanda, I never looked back, and that was the right decision. You know, I’ve met new people, made new friends and I have a new family here,” she adds, pointing out that in 2016, she got a permanent job and obtained a working permit.

Prosie Tsapwe receives treatment in Butaro Hospital, Burera. Photo/Courtesy.

Life seemed to be on track and she was settling well in her new country. She fell in love with Rwanda. "I just loved Rwanda. It is an amazing place to be,” she says.

Life, however, would soon take a shocking turn—in February 2019 she was diagnosed with breast cancer, a condition she was all too familiar with—her mother had passed on in April 1998 after battling the disease.

The disease was in its advanced stage when her mother died in a car accident in Kenya. By the time she passed on, she was undergoing treatment in the Kenyan capital, Nairobi. 

Tsapwe breaks down and cries as she narrates her ordeal during the interview. Photos: Gad Nshimiye

Tsapwe’s own diagnosis and subsequent surgery at King Faisal Hospital (KFH), and Rwanda Military Hospital-Kanombe, respectively, triggered the painful experience her mother went through before she met her demise.

The bubbly Tsapwe, still undergoing therapy treatment at least for the next five years until the cancer goes into full remission, has not only had to cope with the rigorous treatment process, but also a slew of other tragedies and financial difficulties, which she has had to endure with a heart of steel.

Her story is one of resilience, determination, and to a large extent, a positive attitude. 

Finding out

It all started with a conversation she had with a friend back in Uganda in January 2019, who told her that her young sister who was 15, had undergone an operation and a stone-like lump had been removed from her breast.

A doctor at Butaro Hospital attends to Tsapwe. Photo: Courtesy

Tsapwe told the friend that she too had always felt a lump in her breast but she thought it was a ‘hormonal thing’, and hadn’t really paid attention to it because it wasn’t painful.

Her friend then advised her to consult a doctor back in Uganda, where she had travelled for Christmas holidays. When they checked, the doctor confirmed that there was a lump, but it wasn’t cancerous. Nevertheless, the doctor said it had to be removed.

Tsapwe, however, needed to return to Rwanda urgently for a couple of job interviews, one of which was in Musanze District, which would see her venture into her other passion—tourism.

"The place was really cold. You have to sleep with some hot water bottles in the bed. So, the second night, I don’t really know, maybe it was my mind thinking about it or what, but I woke up to a very sharp pain in my chest.

"It was a really sharp pain, like someone stabbing a knife through my breast. It made me cry and I think what triggered it was the cold,” she recalls, adding that once the pain started, it never stopped. Instead, it intensified by the day.

When she returned to Kigali, she checked in at Legacy Clinic and a mammogram and ultrasound were done. The doctor advised her to go to KFH to do a co-biopsy, which she did and results took a week.

When she returned to get the results, the doctor told her to expect the worst, something, she didn’t want to hear.

"If your mum had it, it is possible that you could have it too, so just prepare for the worst,” the doctor said. She was scared of opening the results herself, so she took them to a pathologist.

"The pathologist said there was no malignancy. It’s just a fibrocystic disease.” And she was relieved, but was informed that given the family history, the chances of getting cancerous were very high, so she had to mobilise funds to remove the lump.

The surgery was done at Rwanda Military Hospital and the lump taken for testing. When she returned to the hospital to get the results, she got an unusual reception, as the doctors on duty helped her beat the long line of patients.

She was informed that they were waiting for two doctors, including an oncologist. Tsapwe didn’t know what an oncologist was. She googled and saw ‘cancer’.

She was informed that the tests had confirmed cancer and they needed to do more tests to see how far it had spread, checking the lymph nodes and to assess the treatment procedures needed to contain it. 

"I didn’t know how to tell my family back home,” she says, adding that she didn’t know what next, as questions popped up in her head, about whether she will beat it, the finances and more.

"I didn’t know what was next so I just went and sat somewhere on a chair and started crying. I just cried and said what now? I didn’t know how to deal with that,” she says, overcome by emotions.

"First it was my mum, and now me?” she said to herself, convincing herself that it was a lie. She had acted strong before the doctors but as soon as she went out, it hit her.

It was the weakest point for her to the extent that she asked God to take her life if need be.

"I kind of almost gave up,” she says, despite her strong nature. However, one day, she woke up and said ‘what would my mum have wanted me to do?’ and she vowed to fight on.

Her resolve marked the beginning of a long, winding journey, which saw her criss-cross hospitals in Rwanda and later Nairobi, Kenya, where she continued her treatment.

The Covid-19 outbreak worsened an already dire situation for her, grounding her in a hospital in Nairobi for five months, with no source of income or any other form of support.

Tsapwe had travelled to Kenya for radiotherapy early 2020, when the coronavirus restrictions were announced. Countries imposed lockdowns and travel was suspended.

Having undergone preliminary treatments at King Faisal and Rwanda Military Hopsital, and chemotherapy in Butaro Hospital, Burera District, she travelled to Kenya to do additional follow-up tests and treatment which could not be accessed in Rwanda.

Now here she was, stuck in another country, all alone. The five months were characterised by depression, but thank God some friends in Kenya recommended doctors to help until August 1, 2020 when airports reopened and she was able to travel back.

The first thing she had to do was to return to Rwanda to follow-up with the first doctor who diagnosed the condition, because with cancer, you don’t have to change doctors often. She also needed to come back and complete her chemotherapy treatment.

In all this, the 39-year-old refused to be put down by breast cancer. Though the treatment itself was draining and painful, Tsapwe made a decision not to be grounded by cancer or its treatment, which can also be exhausting.

On her third chemotherapy round, Tsapwe surprised her doctor when she told him that she didn’t want to stay in bed.

"I told him I didn’t want to look sick. I may feel sick, but I didn’t want to look sick. So, I had to find something to give me a reason to get up and do something to look up to,” she says. At this point, the undesirable effects of chemo were setting in.

Grief, financial struggles

It was difficult for Tsapwe, who at the time had decided to be taking herself to and from the hospital, avoiding the vulnerability of needing a caretaker.

It is something she had to do to keep herself going, given the difficulties she was going through at the moment.

"At the time my family was not doing well financially and two months before I started my chemo, I had lost a brother in an accident,” Tsapwe says.

"It was a really disturbing time for my family,” she recalls, adding that the brother who had passed on was the main provider of the family and his death presented a major financial setback.

Amidst all this, Tsapwe faced a major dilemma as some people encouraged her not to do chemo because it would ‘limit her chances of survival’, and instead advised her to go the nutritional way.

It is a struggle many cancer patients go through, which sometimes can lead to poor decision-making with fatal consequences. She did her own research and reflected on her mother’s story and she made a decision to undergo normal cancer treatment.

"I had to decide and say you know what, it’s okay, you can skip the treatment, you can go the nutritional away, but when this thing (cancer) comes back, it comes back very aggressively and you will not have any chances,” recalls Tsapwe who at the time was at stage two.

In a light moment, she recalls that her biggest concern was her hair falling off. At the time she didn’t have a job. She had just found a new job when she got the diagnosis and could not take it up.

This put her in a terrible financial situation—but thanks to friends and the church ministry she served in, people came together and contributed funds for her to go for treatment.

As fate would have it, Rwanda turned out to be the place she really wanted to be, mainly because she wanted to be away from the toxic situation back home and also be able to access treatment with genuine medicine, which she believed she would get in Rwanda.

Doing her chemo in Butaro Hospital was fulfilling, because she had heard about the hospital working with cancer institutions globally, and receiving genuine drugs as a centre of excellence for cancer treatment.

However, it was not easy because at times she would feel lonely, but she had this drive in her. It is this spirit that Tsapwe thinks saw her through the entire journey which was full of ups and downs.

She would ask for chemo as though she was asking for a cup of tea, which would leave doctors shocked, given the undesirable side effects of the chemo treatment.

In between chemotherapy treatment, Tsapwe would make and distribute ‘Chinchin’ (tiny, crunchy deep-fried mandazi), with a catheter through which chemo is administered wrapped around her neck.

"I am not a stay-at-home person,” Tsapwe says about her drive, adding that not even her hair (her beloved dreadlocks) falling off or school kids asking too many questions would stop her from running her errands.

However, she was warned that running errands would expose her to infections since her immunity was down.

She also had to alter her diet completely, dropping all foods containing sugar and carbs, for vegetables and other cancer-fighting foods.

It also meant that she had to do away with her sweet tooth and all the sugary cravings. She believes her nutritional decision played a vital role in her recovery.

Apart from losing her hair and eyebrows, the treatment gave her many undesirable effects, from loss of appetite to infections and skin conditions, but she faced them all with a positive attitude, and rose back from it stronger.

Treatment in Kenya

Life in Kenya where she was grounded for five months was particularly more difficult, because she didn’t have friends around her and she constantly needed funds to afford the radiotherapy and hormonal therapy treatment.

She was, however, lucky to find good Samaritans who offered her accommodation and food, while her friends in Kigali, led by Efua Hagan, raised funds, albeit under difficult circumstances, to see her through treatment.

A Covid-19 scare and the first death taking place in the hospital she was undergoing treatment complicated the entire process.

Throughout all these struggles, her plan was to find time when she was well enough to go to Uganda and spend time with her father, as she hadn’t seen him ever since she had started treatment.

Having returned to Rwanda in August 2020, her plan was to mobilise resources and head home in November, if all went well. They had been communicating as she often updated him on the treatment process and her business plans. He was worried about her and anxiously waiting for her.

The same month she was supposed to go home, she got a call from her sister informing her that the old man had developed a cold. She did not talk to him as he was having some breathing difficulties.

On November 22, 2020, she got a call from her brother that confirmed the worst. Her father had passed on due to suspected Covid-19 complications. She threw the phone away in shock.

"I said no, this is a lie! He can’t pass on, you know, he’s supposed to wait for me, because I was looking forward to seeing him. I mean he has been waiting to see his daughter who has been in and out of hospitals. I said this can’t be happening,” Tsapwe recalls.

It was the most painful thing, her father passing away before they could meet again after two years. His death left her grief-stricken.

It has been a tough journey for her, characterised by pain, grief and financial difficulties, but above all, she is still thankful to her friends and well-wishers who have kept her going. 

Nevertheless, Tsapwe still has a long way to go to fully recover. For any kind of support, please contact her on this number: +250 786-991-558.