Most of us vehemently seek and pursue success and happiness but tend to ignore the fundamentals of achieving them, turning to acquisition of endless skills and knowledge in hope that we could outsmart and outcompete others.
Recently, I was listening to a certain life coach whence he uttered a quote that I will never forget, "the more you learn, the more you understand that you know less”. From what he said, I learned that knowledge and skills are not sources of happiness and success, but at atleast one component of it. Some of the vital bulding blocks of happiness and success include the following; integrity, empathy, and compassion, and I would like to elucidate how:
First, it is integrity, which means being honest and strongly having and adhering to moral and ethical principles. For example, a trader saying that although I have facing losses in my business, I cannot go beyond that and cheat my business partner – or an employer saying that, although I have access to my boss’ money and have pending needs, I cannot steal. Strong communities, families, businesses, and relationships are all built on integrity – they have secret information, recipes, documents that they can’t easily entrust with someone unless they have a proven track record of integrity.
Additionally empathy is a good trait to possess, because, literally, empathy means being able to feel what another person is feeling -- putting yourself in another person’s shoes. The ability to sense another person’s emotions, and being able to visualise what another person is thinking. Being empathetic helps us understand what others are going through, and obliges us to take action to relieve another person of what they are suffering from. It helps build social connections, and makes us and others feel loved, valued, and cared for.
"In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: intelligence, energy, and integrity. And if they don’t have the last one, don’t even bother with the first two” – Warren Buffet.
Furthermore, compassion which is defined as being sympathetic to the misfortunes of others, and where possible, giving a helping hand to those who are unfortunate. It is rare to find people who are compassionate, because although many people express verbally how bad they feel about someone’s misfortune, a handful of us say so and concurrently take action to help them.
There are numerous other traits, like optimism, resilience, patience,and honesty, when combined with the above-mentioned give one more chances of having a meaningful, happy, and prosperous life.
A research study that was conducted by professor Sonjya Lyubomirsky and his students found that helping others is the key to happiness. The afformentioned traits give anyone who learns and applies them, the most important skill – emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is far more important than Intellectual Quotient (IQ).
This is also applicable in the corporate world. How can you make people buy your product or service when you don’t listen to or ask them their pain points to relieve them? How can you lead others when you don’t sympathise with them? This is the basis for why most companies that make their products customer-centric rather than assuming what customers want and just producing are succesful, and famous leaders who empathise(d) with their followers, and help them solve them are forever remembered.
Therefore, I advise anyone who wants to become happy and have strong and meaning relationships in their personal and professional lives to learn how and start to sympathise with others, offer a helping hand where possible, and stick to the core values in spite of the temptations they face in their professional and personal lives.
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to become happy, practice compassion” – Dala Lama.