Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
Answer: Because the captain was standing on the deck.
What is the best thing to do if a bull charges you?
Answer: Pay him!
Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?
Answer: Because they hog the ball!
Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
Answer: The one with the biggest head!
What did the outlaw get when he stole a calendar?
Answer: Twelve months.