I recently got into a conversation about the dry spell that has hit Kigali females and taking matters into my hands, set out to find some strategic methods to net these ever elusive fish (In a city like Kigali, it is hard to find an excuse for going hungry…nah mean?) You are your best match maker-if it doesn’t come to you, go find it (more like him) as we keep these things in mind…
I heard this somewhere and thought it was a gem: approach finding the right man like a job hunt. Always be prepared-dressed right and looking good; it is also good to step out of your comfort zone once in a while as you never know who you will meet at the supermarket.
Cold reality check: If you are an ordinary every-day Mary Jane, don’t fixate on finding a Tom Cruise look-alike! Be realistic in setting your goal; by the way if you are digging for gold, be warned that men will sense it right away, especially if they want a long-term liaison. Double check what you are looking for in a mate.
Similarity=success; no one is calling on you to find your clone but having the same core values, goals and lifestyle will set you on the course to a strong relationship. It’s always good to be yourself with your better half-unless he is really worth changing for, and who ever (really) is?
If you know you are clingy, time to think about presenting an ounce of a challenge; don’t latch onto him after three dates and forget all your friends! Make it clear that he is a welcome enhancement to your life but not the four-course meal (well until he is yours of course).
Be a hot mama, not a prospective baby mama! No need to scare guys away with diaper talk, how about you get to know him first?
Can he not have to hear about your ex for the first few dates? Enough said! Also, etiquette 101 on a date: Be on time. Shut off your cell phone. Look him in the eye (not at the plate!) Allow the man to summon the waiter. Please don’t apply lipstick at the table. Allow for dialogue-don’t get carried away asking question after question or talking about no one but you, yourself and you.
Beware of the man who looks longingly at the Mutzig bottle as he does at you-neurotics are a no-no; this goes the same for you-if you are getting with someone just because you are frightened of being alone, you got a problem!
Unleash the sunshine in you: smile, laugh, hug. Leave your professional persona at work and go with the flow! By the way this might mean compromise; you cannot always have your way. Flexibility is also great in the looks department. He might not throw you off your feet but if there’s a real connection, he will grow on you; in the same way, look past his smouldering eyes and buff bod and re-think if he is worthy of your heart (how does he treat his mother? The waiter?)
I wish you nothing but an October full of love!