It can happen anytime, anywhere, to any guy of any age. There you are, cruising through life, and then suddenly one day, your girl sits you down and tells you that she is pregnant.
If the pregnancy is unplanned and unwanted on both sides, it becomes bad news to the extent of denying responsibility of the pregnancy by the male partner.
Some couples rejoice at the idea of them becoming parents while some are not ready to take on greater responsibilities within their relationship. Denying the responsibility to become a father and maybe breaking your girlfriend’s heart is not a solution to the pregnancy.
You still have to discuss what you are going to do in the near future and consider your options. Will she continue with the pregnancy? How is she going to support the child once it is born?
Will she be asking you for child support? Is she considering abortion or having the child adopted as soon as it was born? You have to know where she stands and she has to know your thoughts on the matter, too.
Yvette Mugeni, 28 years, an Entrepreneur says that, in a situation when your girlfriend is pregnant you have to act like you care.
“No matter how you feel about the news, make sure you show your girl that you not only care about the pregnancy, but about her.
“Listen to her because your girl will have more and deeper thoughts than yours; so get over your own thoughts and emotions and listen to her. And then try to put yourself in her position as much as you can,” Mugeni explains.
Patrice Muhire, 32 years, is a second year student at the School of Finance and Banking who said that unwanted pregnancy can have a tremendous effect on a relationship between any man and woman.
“Find out how your girlfriend feels about the pregnancy. Her feelings are your first consideration once you learn that she is pregnant,” he says.
Muhire explains that even though it may be an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, a woman may have reason to keep a pregnancy.
“Listen to what she has to say and what her plans are,” he adds.
Jean Marie Vianney Iradukunda, 30 years, is a Taxi driver who emphasises the need for emotional support.
“In a romantic relationship, a girl has to deal with the pregnancy and she also deals with huge emotional and social disturbance depending on her situation in life and so her boyfriend’s support is valuable,” he remarks.
Iradukunda says that men should be honest with their feelings.
“If he is not yet ready to take responsibility for his child, he should tell his girlfriend how he feels and allow her to decide what to do next. Talk to her calmly and state your case.
Do not blame her for letting it happen. Be sensitive of her feelings as she too may be too confused at this stage,” he said.
Although men are not under any obligation to marry their girlfriend once she gets pregnant, it is their duty as men to give full support in whatever decision she makes.