The biggest lie is to claim that you’ve ‘Never told a lie ’. Why is it that now days telling lies is so rampant and gaining so much acceptance in our lives? It’s so absurd that we’ve gone ahead and even infected our children with it.
Parents and guardians may not do this deliberately, but remember, kids learn from everything they see and hear. When an un-wanted visitor knocks at your door, you tell your wife (their mother) to tell them you’re not around, or you even send your very kid to tell the land-lord that you’re not around, in most cases these kids being innocent, they say, “Dad said he is not around”.
When the visitors depart, you thrash their little bottoms for not being ‘perfect liars’. Here you’re sowing the devil’s seed in them.
It’s so ridiculous that some people lie a lot that they even reach to an extent of lying to themselves, they repeat the same lies so many times that they eventually believe it them selves.
We lie for different reasons. Kids lie to escape punishments or get rewards. Politicians lie about their intention to change the country in order to get votes. Some lie during job interviews to get the job and make ends meet. Others lie to spare other people’s feelings.
Other people’s lies are caused by lack of courage to face the truth, poor problem solving skills also sometimes lead to lies. Another cause is lack of confidence while others in attempt to get some attention.
Types of lies
There are several types of lies, but the most common is the ‘white lies’. This kind of lie is not meant to hurt others, but is intended to grease the wheels of the relationships we have with people around us. It is considered minor or harmless; people may tell a white lie to prevent someone from knowing the truth ahead of time or when hiding little secrets.
The bold-faced lie is told when someone is denying the truth despite the evidence proving otherwise. People tell this kind of lie when the result of telling the truth can be devastating, like if it can lead to incarceration.
Lies of omission occur when a person withdraws the truth or important facts; people can tell lies of omission by not confessing they did something for which someone else is taking the blame.
Among various consequences of lying, is loss of trust. If someone catches you telling a lie, they will not easily trust you again. This can dent your job, marriage or friendships. Once you lie to someone, you may not want to be around the person because of guilt, as a result, a wall is created between the two of you.
Lying, in addition, causes anxiety and depression. You constantly worry that your lies will be exposed, and you even look stupid when the truth is revealed.
How to stop
The best way to stop telling lies is by confronting this behaviour. Also learn to confess and apologize when you tell a lie, this will help you because you would be able to notice that you have messed and are sorry for what you have done.
You cannot stop lying if you have not admitted to yourself that you have a problem, staying in the denial state of mind only prolongs your pain and reinforces behaviours that make you unhappy with yourself.
Whenever the need to lie comes, think of the cost; try to use other methods of solving the problem without the introduction of lies.
Though there might be no infallible way to tell if someone is lying, there is some behaviour to watch for in a person who is lying. Like if someone is avoiding eye contact, a change in a pitch of a persons tone or when a person stammers when he usually doesn’t, throat clearing could be a sign too. Some people act nervous or uncomfortable; making statements that contradict each other, a guilty person will try to change the subject.
Identifying the disease is half the cure. When you admit that you’re a liar, you’re almost there, remember you can’t stop, unless you want to.