PARENTING : Managing single parenthood

IS being a single parent harder than you ever imagined? Do you think it is too much to raise a kid all alone, do you feel like quitting? It’s time to pack all your worries in one basket, if you only understood your role as a single parent, you will learn how to give your child the love of both parents single-handedly. Being a single parent involves many difficult challenges. It’s harder than it looks. Single parents deal with challenges all day, every day. Whatever you do, you ought to be diligent in keeping up with your children as they grow up in a single-parented home. In fact, the biggest challenge of being a single parent is the effect that your status has on your children. Sometimes, they feel abandoned or insecure. They may feel isolated and different from other kids with both parents. Your children may resent you for the loss of your spouse, or they may have unresolved issues with the missing parent. As a single parent, it’s your job to keep them talking about what’s going on. Even when they object, you need to get them talking about their worries, fears, and anger. And, you need to reassure them and make them know that they are all right—that they are normal kids despite their circumstances. They need to know that you are there for them despite your busy schedule. Even during financial trouble, your job cannot take priority over your kids. They need to know how important they are to you, and that you love them more than anything else. You need to build a new relationship with your children, because you are the only source of affection and guidance at home. Even if you were not close before, this is the time to get closer. One good way to go about this is to do lots of exciting family activities. Assign specific chores to your children that will keep your household lively. This will help them feel that they belong and that they are important. Remember that the world is a more dangerous place than it was when you were a child. There is no substitute for good parental judgment. Time is a good enemy when you are a single parent. You have to work and that means being outside home most of the time. You will definitely need to take extra precautions and lay out specific rules for the time you are not there. Children who are left alone are more vulnerable to drugs, gangs and criminal behavior. There is need to find a way to monitor your kids while you are not home. This difficult challenge must be met head-on, or your children may pay for it with their very lives. Single parents sometimes are challenged with their children’s attitude towards them. They may blame you for their situation or think you are not doing things right and start disrespecting you, However, it’s important for single parents never to show their children that they are a burden. Tell them about how much you love them. Ask them questions and listen to their answers. Even when time is limited, you can make the time you spend with them special and positive. It’s worth the trouble. Your reward will be the love and respect of well-behaved, responsible children. Even when life is difficult, you can make life enjoyable and productive, by building healthy relationships with your kids as you watch them become happy and productive young adults. Despite the many challenges of being a single parent, you must always maintain your perspective and honor the most important priorities. It won’t always be hard. You will have many happy times and lots of love and laughter in your single-parent family. shebs10@yahoo.com