If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it
It feels like the end of the world, but you need to start healing after a breakup. In the days and weeks that follow, you’ll find yourself constantly coming back to this pain, but over time, the pain of a breakup fades away.
I want him back
Most people go straight into “damage control mode” and start frantically trying to figure out how to get him back.
This is normal, but it’s too soon and also the wrong direction. Without knowing 100 percent of why he left, there is not much you can do.
Unfortunately, when a guy dumps you, the reasons he gives for leaving are often much more than the one or two reasons he gives you. It’s usually a collection of things: some are directly your “fault” but most are in his head and you have little power over those.
Time heals all wounds
Don’t you just hate it when people tell you this? It feels like the weight of the world is standing on your heart and someone reminds you that it’s going to feel this way for awhile.
One day, you get to the point where you can learn from this experience and make yourself a better person because you were forced to move on.
Let that thought sink in a little while. Do you love this man enough to give him the space he needs to find his way? Possibly, finding his way back to you? This is where breakups become permanent.
Resolve yourself to the idea that at this very moment, there is nothing you can do. The wounds are still fresh and you won’t make the best decisions. Give yourself a chance to breathe before even considering the process of healing after a breakup.
Do something you’ve been itching to do
We always put off doing those things we really want to do because we are so comfortable. Now that your comfy blanket has been taken away, what are you waiting for?
You might be in pain, but that should not stop you from moving forward towards healing after a breakup. Otherwise you’ll just sit around eating and crying your way into oblivion.
Get a new hairstyle. Join a gym. Take up oil painting. Find new ways to keep the momentum rolling. Keep in mind, we’re not just talking about busywork to keep your mind occupied. You want to do awesome things that really give you something interesting to talk about.
Get him to “talk”
You’ve started the ball rolling to fulfilling some of the things you’ve been dreaming about. He has actually re-convinced himself that you actually are a cool chick. He thinks that now he can actually talk to you about what happened and where he’s at in his life.
You cannot get to this stage by being anything but completely cool. If you go “psycho” on him and scare him away, you might never find out what he was really thinking.
People are always surprised to find out that the breakup often had very little to do with themselves and more about his own personal issues.