Diaspoman: My new source of hefty pocket money

Life at campus for a mature entrant student like me can be very tricky indeed! I cannot continue to benefit from Aggrey who has suffered enough with my expenses – and of course the expensive school fees at SFB. So, I find it difficult to keep asking him for some pocket money. That is why I had to look for another quick fix for my problems. And that is how I ended up hooking myself to these two young lads who hail from a rich family. They are in their late teens and they are the types who enjoy life to its fullness. So when they were enrolled for SFB, these guys managed to convince their rich parents that they would benefit more from SFB if they resided within Gikondo. They reasoned out that it would be rather cumbersome for them to trek from their respective homes every evening in order to attend classes. Within one day, the two lads had identified a small house near campus. Then their parents gave them pocket money and promised to replenish their pockets every Friday. The pocket money that each guy received was double my annual savings way back in the Diaspora. Now this looked promising indeed! With my well trained nose, I was able to detect where roasted meat was emanating from. That is why I quickly befriended these guys. I told them not to concentrate on my old age. “You see, its not the old age that counts. It is the heart that counts. When I look at both of you, I just realize that you are my type of buddies.” With such cajoling words, I was able to warm myself into their Gikondo house. Within a few hours, I had already convinced them that they would do with a roommate like me. And so a new relationship was born. Who needed Aggrey after all? My basic needs were now covered. I could eat, drink and above all I had a roof on top of me. What was remaining was for me to be introduced to the parents of my new friends. I felt that it was important for me to meet them because of two main reasons. Reason number one is that they are damn rich. Reason number two is that they could eventually connect me to the right people for employment. This is what highly motivated me into paying them a visit. When the time arrived for our famous visit, it was quite mega! The lunch that awaited us was heavy. The only dish that was missing was Chicken. The lady of the house apologized to us; “Please pardon us for not having cooked chicken. This is due to the bird flu scare that is being rumoured about.” We then seriously attacked the dining table and crushed away at the pork, meat, chapattis and many other goodies. We continued in the celebration mood by consuming several litres of Red Wine. After the heavy lunch, the Man of the house stood up to give a speech; “Dear guests, let me be the first one to thank our two sons here for having followed into our footsteps. We would like to thank you for having come here to celebrate with us. We thank you because other sons would be spending their time with girlfriends and other pimps. But for both of you, you have been very responsible and this is manifested in the fact that you have brought along your senior lecturer. Thank you so much Professor for sharing lunch with us…” At this stage, the two guys were struggling to hold back their laughter. It was obvious that their parents had mistaken me for a Professor. Little did they know that I was a lousy Diaspoman who had decided to register for a mature degree course at SFB. diaspoman@yahoo.com