Diaspoman: How Facebook helped me hunt for her…

The internet has really changed our world. Talk about Facebook for example! I have been a member of Facebook for the last few months and among my intentions was to finally hook a candidate who could answer to the name of Mrs. Diaspoman! And did it take me a long time? No way! I actually landed myself a promising candidate. We had been exchanging messages and photos via Facebook. Now, the time had come for us to meet face to face. That is how I found myself last weekend at the Nyabugogo bus park. I was there to meet my Facebook chick who had boarded a Jaguar bus and was heading all the way to Kigali. I cannot proceed without first thanking my new boss for having given me an office which is fully connected with internet. Oh, I had not told you that I was now off the streets! Yes, Aggrey recently connected me for a kiraka somewhere in Kigali city. I landed this nice Kiraka which involves keying some old archived data into a computer. At this mega office, I sit somewhere in a squeezed cubicle where I proceed to key in the information into the database. So, with the internet connection, I have been able to chat with friends through Skype, Messenger and Facebook. In the middle of my work, messages pop up on my Computer screen. When I respond, I get an instant reply. So, I have been enjoying this free service and in the process I have fallen in love. Yes, the Diaspoman had finally met the girl of his dreams. The messages we were exchanging via the chat room were full of romance. We continued to chat everyday for about 2 weeks. As we chatted, the friendship grew from one level to another. In the heat of the moment, I found myself writing certain things to her that were not entirely true. For example, I found myself telling her that I was the Managing Director of a company called Technologies Link Ltd. I told her that this Company was created to solve all the internet problems in the country. I told her that since ICT was at the forefront here in Rwanda, I had to participate in this noble cause. It appears that this news was so sweet for her eyes. She believed every word I wrote to her. As for me, I was just innocently telling her some few white lies in the name of promoting myself. What I did not know was that she was seriously considering a visit to me. So one day, she sent me the following message via Facebook; “Diaspoman, I just want to let you know that I am boarding the 9 o’clock Jaguar bus from Kampala. Will you please pick me up at the bus park? I will be dressed in a red dress.” Okay, now things were becoming quite elephant for me. What was I going to do? Hadn’t I told her that I was a Managing Director of a big company here in Rwanda? Where would I borrow a car from? Anyways, I somehow managed to find a solution. So, off I drove to Nyabugogo the next day. I was dressed to kill. I waited for the Jaguar to arrive. It was around 5pm in the evening. Eventually, the purple Jaguar bus pulled up at the busy Nyabugogo bus park. People started to disembark. I kept my eyes wide open. I was looking for any nice looking chick dressed in Red to emerge out of the bus. They continued to disembark until my eyes landed on this most beautiful lady I had ever seen. Yes indeed, she was clad in a very exotic red dress. She was so elegant. Upon seeing her, I rushed like a mad man and gave her a very heavy hug! As I started to lift her in ecstasy, I felt a serious blow crush into my abdomen. When I painfully looked up, it was a huge burly guy who had given me a Tyson-like punch. He was screaming at the top of his voice “How dare you hug my wife like that? Do you want to steal her mobile phone? You lousy Nyabugogo thieves!” Oops! Apparently, I had picked the wrong person. So then where on earth was my lady? What had happened to her? Hadn’t she told me that she would be dressed in a red dress? Just as I was nursing my bruised abdomen, my phone rang. It was a long distance call. Yes, at last! It was my lady calling from Kampala “Honey, I missed the bus. Can you please send me money for an air ticket?” I felt like cursing her openly. But I kept my cool. So I also told her amidst my pain “Okay darling, please wait for your air ticket at the airport in one year’s time” I then hang up the phone. I decided to be more careful when it comes to chatting via Facebook…. diaspoman@yahoo.com