The Hater : I hate people who…

…think we all follow the same programmes. I met an old friend yesterday, and the first thing he said to me was “Have you enjoyed your lunch?” I instantly found myself struggling to restrain myself from insulting him and his ancestors. Why was he assuming that I had taken lunch? Being lunchtime is not a guarantee that we all go for lunch then. Some people do not even get to eat anything at lunch time. As I always say, most of the time is spent hating and I only eat when I feel hungry not when it is lunchtime. So do not ask me such questions unless you have availed me the lunch. …are always asking journalists about news events. Much as they work with news items and their job is to look for, prepare and broadcast news, this does not give people the authority to invade them with questions about each and everything. If you really want information, I suggest you go buy yourself a copy of the latest newspaper, listen to radio or watch TV. If all this fails then go to the internet and engage Google search for some answers. I see no reason why the journalist should invest in fighting your ignorance. It is like asking a doctor for drugs when you meet him in a bar. People need to get serious. Next time I may be compelled to offer some beatings. …do not practice what they preach. I hereby declare that this bit is targeted at the men in blue, the police officers of this country. Although it is their paid duty to maintain law and order, most of them are hardly in order or following the law. If you think I am just accusing them, just stop and observe any of the police pickup trucks on our roads. Soon, you will notice that these guys do not wear any seatbelts, rarely use the indicators before making a turn and a good number of their cars have no tail lights. My hatred will only go down if the new police boss puts his boys (and girls) in order. …assume that a taxi is a place of worship. I certainly know that God is everywhere and we ought to worship him often. However, I think sometimes we need to control our misjudgements and let peace reign. For example, when I take a taxi home from work and am tired; the only thing that can make the evening better is getting home safely for a good bath and rest. The last thing I want to hear is some crazy wanna-be born again Christian asking me if I have ever given my life to Christ. Please shut up and save your questions for the Sunday church sermon. If I had wanted your sermon, I would not be on my way home but to church. …still don’t know that actions speak louder than words. As I was dealing with a mild case of malaria last week, I reached a point where the malaria was replaced with advanced hatred for all those wishing me a quick recovery. Instead of sending “Get well soon” messages to a person with a clear history of hatred, why not send me a bottle of Agashya passion fruit juice. After all, the doctor said I need to drink a lot! What about offering to clear my hospital bills? They too are contributing to my poor health you know. So for now, I am requesting MTN to block get well messages and only allow those talking about tangible things that can aid my recovery. And yes I am still sick. Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com