RELATIONSHIPS : Clean ‘em’ cobwebs

Getting rid of all cobwebs in your sitting room sometimes seems to take forever, and as soon as its done they always edge in once again, terrible yes, but that’s just how cobwebs are made to be. They are natural and getting rid of them, is a continuous battle one has to work to win. Cobwebs exist equally in our relationships, they are the occasional spring up of past relationships and occasional reverie of moments shared with an EX, and they are the memories that stare at us during a cosy moment with a present partner. Yes they are cobwebs, we would love to hide them but our relationships can not be clear and free to mature if we don’t continuously clean them out. I have always wondered why a bad relationship always seems to have been perfect when put in context of a budding one, instead of remembering the bad stunts he had, the awful ways that he treated you, you remember only the few days he showed up with flowers, the selected times he talked of spending his/her lifetime with you, the moments of bliss. It’s so human and normal to focus on past relationship even when you are in a good one now, and even when you are totally aware that it was a waste of time. It’s not easy to find contentment in a relationship when you are occasionally reminded of the past ones that always seem to have been better. It’s also very possible to keep comparing him or her to your past partner, who is long gone and somehow always at heart. He had a better smile, he respected me, or no she was much sweeter and she would flush me with gifts and yes I loved the surprises. In the end you find yourself stuck in the dreams of the past, the cobweb that threatens to break what you have at present. Many people have and continue to choose to revisit by gone relationships, some of them succeed but mostly the cycle begins. That of memorable perfection and once again they wish for their EX. The EX my friends is a good indulgence once in a while but never worth it, because even though it always seems so, he/she never really changed and they are never as perfect as you remember them because that’s the reason you left in the first place. For now the EX is just a cobweb, one that will keep popping out in secret or in an audience but in the end that’s just who they are - cobwebs that need cleaning. Once cleaned your mind and heart will accept and usher in a new tenant, a new partner, a new life, a beginning free of the past. pgathoni@gmail.com