Be a good spouse for a healthy relationship

There are no such things as secrets to having a happy marriage. Most of what it takes to be happily married is in fact real love. Once there is real love between a man and a woman, the rest of the things will almost fall into place. That is not to say there won’t be some disagreements or cross words passed back and forth along your journey through life, as we are only human and certainly not perfect. But, having a genuine relationship full of real love helps to patch the holes in the sometimes rough road of matrimony. Even though there are no secrets for being happily married, there are some basic rules every man and woman should keep in mind. Communication is essential for any relationship to flourish, especially between a husband and wife. Share your feelings, your thoughts, and discuss your mutual plans for the future. Along with communicating, take the time to actually get to know your husband or wife, and continue to know them as the years pass by. You might think you know each other when you got married, but, as times goes by, especially if you married at an early age, you and your spouse both will mature, evolve and change. Time as well as the events that will happen to both of you throughout your married life will change your relationship as well as your outlook on life. Don’t be afraid of these changes, whether it happens to be your changing or your spouse’s at the time. Just remember to recognize those changes and communicate with your spouse about them. Loyalty is crucial to any kind of relationship. Be loyal and show your spouse that you are devoted to them and them only. Be faithful to them as well as supportive. Your spouse should be your confidante, your best friend, your safe haven in the storms of life as well as your exclusive lover. While you and your spouse will have loving relationships with family and friends, your marital relationship is exclusive and very special, and cannot be shared with anyone else. Time spent with your spouse is very important, however, space is equally as important. Spend plenty of quality time together, but remember to allow each other to have ample time alone. Even though you are a married unit, and you will want to spend time together enjoying your favorite activities, or just sit together and relax at home, each of you is still a separate individual with certain likes and dislikes. You both need time alone to enjoy hobbies that you might enjoy, but your spouse doesn’t. Don’t think that because you are married, that you are joined at the hip and cannot do anything on your own. You both need equal time alone to think and organize your own thoughts or simply to wind down. The fourth rule in keeping your relationship healthy is that you have to be realistic about love and marriage, and especially, be realistic about your sex life. No matter how hard you may try, your marriage will not be perfect. As time goes by and changes occur in your lives together, your sexual relationship will also change. Most couples experience stars and skyrockets at the onset of their sexual relationship, but due to lack of time, energy, and other factors that come into play, things are bound to change. Probably the most common change will be that you and your spouse will not have sex as often as you did when you first were married. If this bothers you, or any other changes, talk openly and honestly to your spouse about your feelings and concerns. Last, but certainly not least, work things out together. If you have a disagreement, which there are bound to be many throughout your married life, don’t let things get out of hand. Talk things over as calmly as possible and agree or learn to compromise on a solution to the problem, then kiss and make-up and go on. Don’t hold grudges against each other. And don’t make the mistake of taking each other for granted either. Life is full of uncertainties, but death is certain. None of us know exactly how much time we have on this planet, and how much time we have to enjoy the company of our spouses, so don’t waste it on not getting along. dedantos2002@yahoo.com