WOMAN 2 WOMAN:Pamper yourself, you deserve it

My friend Rita is yet to walk down the aisle! Her wedding is scheduled to take place during the Christmas holidays. But while everybody would expect Rita to be “over the moon” just like any bride to be, her excitement is limited. Apparently because the man she intends to marry does not pamper her! “I have always wanted to be pampered but Kris (Husband to be) does not see this. I like to be treated like a queen yet he never does those things for me, like surprises, compliments, showing much affection,” my friend confided in me. Apparently, she feels she made a “mistake” by accepting Kris’s hand in marriage instead of another man called Martin whom she dated before she met Kris. What is shocking is that despite the fact that there are a few months to her big day; Rita has not gotten over her ex. Not because she still loves her ex- but because she misses his “pampering”! “Sometimes I miss the pampering and feel like I should have gone with Martin since he was really charming?” Well, well! I know naturally every woman wants to be pampered with love and affection! It makes us feel “full women”! But what if this is not possible? Should you hang yourself? As a matter of fact most men do the pampering when they want to make women fall in love with them and as time goes by, this changes, especially when they realize you are finally hooked to them. This is why, as a woman you should be in charge of pampering yourself! Just like nobody owes you a living, you should be in charge of pampering yourself. Relying on others for your happiness is stressing, as in most cases what you want is not exactly what is going to be done! As women we often take a second shift when it comes to working outside the home, housework, and children. It is not uncommon to even find women working for longer hours so to speak. In fact, single motherhood can make this a necessity. Because of this, women often forget to pamper themselves. As women, it really is important to pamper ourselves as this is a great way to give ourselves the gift of relaxation. Because stress is a very real problem these days, pampering and relaxation which go hand in hand really are a necessity. It’s a fact that women are more susceptible to stress-related symptoms and diseases, so it really is crucial as a woman to learn to pamper yourself. So, how can we as women learn to pamper ourselves? It isn’t as hard as you might think. Here are some tips. Do something to make yourself feel better about how you look. Some examples might be painting your fingernails a pretty colour, plucking your eyebrows, and getting a facial or doing one at home. Have a hair makeover and change in colour. Keep some bath salts or bubble bath around and then soak in a hot bath. Add a few candles and turn off the lights, lean your head back against a bath pillow and just allow your mind to drift. Or you can have a body scrub. Have regular exercise. Going to a healthy club is one of the best ways you can pamper yourself since it is one of the best ways to relieve everyday stress. Buy yourself flowers. Flowers are one of the least inexpensive ways to pamper your self. Have a vase of them at home and at your desk at work. They will cheer you up when you are feeling overwhelmed and are a good reminder to yourself to breathe and relax. Have light scented candles in your home. Candles are inexpensive and there is no reason you cannot use them everyday even. Lavender is a very relaxing and soothing scent and lavender scented candles can be especially helpful after a hard day at the office, or even a rough day with the kids. It is also good to regularly schedule a day or even a half a day that is just for you. If you have children, maybe trade off with another mom and watch her kids on the day or half day that she wants just for herself. Spend that time doing what you really want to do without any distractions. Go shopping for a new dress, shoes, or handbag! Contrary to what we tell ourselves which is usually something along the lines of “I don’t have time to do this,” making time to pamper yourself can actually give you more time to do the things you need to because you will be less stressed, and more able to handle your life. ubernie@gmail.com