Relationships are bound to change over time. What about love? Granted, love might be present but it too is subject to changes. That’s just how it is. Many people go into relationships expecting to them to always be the same and hence things start changing you start looking for a way out. Why? Because it is no longer what you committed to? Today we explore the different evolution stages in a relationship hopefully we will learn why change and when to expect it. The beginning is a blissful dream world, fairly tale all the way culminated by dinners and endless chats on phone. It’s beautiful, it’s the first stage, and it starts at Love at first sight, physical attraction, common interests and a promising life ahead. Everyone on this stage is having a blast. Everything seems to be working out you have her and she has you. Total bliss. If the two continue to rely on such beginnings as the basis for a long-term relationship, they set themselves up for trouble later, because the relationship will evolve over time. About three months later there is no longer need to pretend. Eyes open up to a world bigger than a relationship. The line ‘no life without you’ is no longer applicable. Suddenly there needs to be more than just the relationship. Both parties start considering their options, Should I have rushed into this relationship, is she or he all I thought they were. The parties begin thinking of ‘Me’ instead of us. Both partners start thinking of personal dreams that seem to be hindered by the relationships. Things that they might never be as they seem now stuck the relationship. Then the need for freedom steps in. Most relationships don’t survive this stage. Should the relationship survive the second stage, six months later they can happily enter into discovery. Getting to know each other for real. Everyone at this point is being themselves. They begin to get to know each other. Curiosity checks in. Both begin to see each other for who they are. No pretence, finally the reality dawns. Personalities become more clear, likes, dislikes, dreams are communicated. At this point the two know exactly what they are into. Then eventually depth comes in. Here the partners know each other in and out and they still love each other despite any circumstance. Good marriages are build relationships that have evolved to this stage. This is when the two have been together more than a year. It should be around end of courtship and beginning of a marriage. If a relationship gets to this stage then it can survive a lifetime. Email pgathoni@gmail.com
