Children conceived of rape seek answers

Women and children are the unrivalled victims of atrocities, chaos and disasters. Whenever such phenomena strike, it is women and children who bear the most brunt of it. The 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi was not any different; if anything, it was worse, as rape was used as a weapon of destruction. Many were taken into sex slavery.Although the world will never document the exact number of victims of such crimes against women–many were killed after being raped–testimonies from survivors confirm that many victims were subjected to individual and gang rape orchestrated by members of the infamous Interahamwe militia group.Witnesses and rights groups say some of the rape victims conceived as a result, begot children that they have raised up singly. But there is always this spot of bother that torments these mothers: Children asking for their fathers.Forty-five-year-old Murekatete (not real name), is among the victims of rape who opened up and told her daughter that she was conceived of rape. She said most mothers dread opening up to their children because they are too ashamed of what happened. But she feels relieved now that her ordeal is known to her daughter.“I told her, ‘my daughter, you have been asking me about your dad. He is a man who raped me during the Genocide, and impregnated me; thus I gave birth to you,’” she said, adding that she no longer has to face her daughter weighed down with a numbing conscience. Murekatete, a single mother of one, from Busasamana Sector in Nyanza District, contracted HIV as a result of the rape and gave birth to an HIV-positive child as well. Both mother and daughter are on antiretroviral drugs.“About the infection, I regretted but told her that it wasn’t out of irresponsible lifestyle; it’s the same man who infected me with HIV and, in a way, her as well.” Such victims are also reluctant to admit that more than once they tried to dump their children.Gaining courage to speakHowever, they are overcoming this fear to reveal what happened, thanks to counselling by various organisations and well-wishers.These organisations are facilitated through Survivors’ Fund of Rwanda (Surf) and its partners, to build the women confidence through counseling sessions.Psychologists say counselling helps the women realign heir conscience to the present efforts of rebuilding the country and its people, as well as in drawing children out of doubt of their identity to build mother-child trust.Murekatete, who spoke to this paper in Kigali, last week, said memories of sexual assault are still fresh in her mind.“I had hidden in a neighbour’s house when the owner, an elderly man, asked to sleep with me. When I refused, he called a group of gangsters who took me to a forest, raped me and left me for dead,” she recalled.“I regained consciousness in the hands of a man who took me to DR Congo from where I gave birth to a baby girl,” she added.Murekatete and her daughter would escape from their captor and subsequently be repatriated in 1997.Life has never been easy in the two room house they are sharing with Murekatete’s young sister. She had two other children with her captor in DR Congo.The single mother of three vends second-hand clothes for a living.Murekatete said they got to know their sero status in 2007 and have since been on anti-retroviral drugs.Murekatete was in a dilemma since her daughter kept asking, “Mum, why am I taking all these drugs and when shall I get healed, where is my dad?”The mother managed to disclose everything to her daughter in 2011, after going through counselling sessions under a programme called “Counselling Community Work Initiative.”“I tried to maintain my virginity, until the militia raped me,” she recalls the conclusion of her dialogue with her daughter. Murekatete, however, encouraged her daughter, advising her to study hard and put the past behind her.“I had no choice, after all, I love my mother; the only thing I would tell my dad if I could find him is that he raped my mother and brought the curse of HIV/Aids to the whole family,” she told this paper. Jaël Nirere, a Kigali psychologist, says confession by mothers is commendable.“We used to hear about conflicts between parents rejecting these children or vice versa. With time, we see parents talking openly to their children, and the latter understand their mothers, it is a healthy move,” Nirere said.Calling for government support Murekatete’s daughter is currently in Senior Two. Her dream is “to study management, get employed in a bank, earn a decent living.”The only challenge, she said, is that they still have feeding problems at home. “When I take anti-retroviral drugs, I become weak and hardly follow lessons in class. My mother is poor and jobless,” she said Samuel Munderere, the Surf programme manager, said they spend more than Rwf163 million per annum to educate children born of rape during and after the Genocide, but their budget is strained. The project supports 730 children in secondary schools with each getting Rwf70,000 per term and 55 children in primary get the same amount per annum. The amount barely covers school fees. Their single mothers have to foot the remaining bills because the law establishing the Fund for Genocide Survivors (FARG) excludes children born slightly after the Genocide, including those born of rape. Francine Tumushime, the director-general in charge of social affairs in Ministry of Local Government, said their problems are well known.“We are setting up a clear mechanism to support them without stigmatising them. We think we will work with organisations that are advocating for their rights,” she said. Gaetan Niyonzima, the FARG programme manager, said they have so far identified more than 1,000 families of women who suffered rape.The institution has set aside more than Rwf200 million to assist such families. The ministry has also set aside Rwf30 million for tuition of the children this academic year. Officials said this could increase next year to meet the growing need among the survivors.

National

Children conceived of rape seek answers