I was seated in a banking hall on Wednesday afternoon and in walked two women. One of them had applied too much makeup and as a consequence, her face was pale.
I considered biting my tongue because I wanted to believe that her companion had already told her. But not to take any chances, as I walked out, I took her aside and told her. She was both shocked and grateful.
After that encounter, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of relationship the two women had. What kind of relationship allowed one woman to smile, make conversion and laugh with another woman for almost an hour without telling her that she needed to wipe her face a little bit. If theirs was friendship, they would do good to end it.
A friend once told me: “Those who love you tell you the most truth.” I have found that these are words to live by.
I have found that the people who love you won’t cheer you on while you make bad decisions. They will tell you when you’re behaving poorly. They will tell you when you’re being selfish, impolite or unreasonable. They will tell you when you’re going down a wrong path in love and in life.
But more than that, they will never be the ones to lead you into ‘temptation’. They won’t be the ones to make fun of you for being a non-drinker and then proceed to give you alcohol and insist that you ‘stop being a bore and drink a little.’ They won’t manipulate you into having ‘a little fun’ with other women while your wife waits at home. They won’t peer-pressure you into using someone for financial gain.
Those who love you will give you honest feedback when you ask a question. They will tell you if your face is too pale. They will tell you if your dress is unflattering to your body shape or if it’s inappropriate for an occasion. They will tell you if you ask them about a feud you’re having and you’re the one in wrong.
If they have disagreements with you, you will be the first to know. They won’t smile and kiss you on the cheeks and then turn around and curse you under their breaths or talk behind your back.
I know that as we get older and lose our innocence, complete truth eludes us. We want to be liked and we want to belong so we lie and pretend. And I know that the truth has a negative connotation because it’s often associated with judgment, criticism and an attack on one’s personality. It’s associated with belittlement. So we don’t want to be the ones to say something bad.
But when truth comes from a place of love, it builds. I know for sure that I’d choose honesty over politeness on any given day. I know now from experience that those who love you tell you the most truth.