Apparently, last week a bride ran out of church to escape vowing to be married “for richer or for poorer “upon discovering that the groom was actually poor. There was pictorial evidence and all. Looked like a scene from a Nigerian movie.
As usual, everyone threw verbal stones at her. “She’s materialistic!” “She is a true representation of girls these days.” Only a few people chastised the man for fraud. But even those that did were quick to add that he wouldn’t have done it if the girl wasn’t materialistic.
On my part, (and if that story is actually not one of those internet hoaxes), I think she did the right thing. I have three main reasons.
The first reason is that I would have done the same thing. And no, it’s not because I’m materialistic. Okay who am I kidding? I totally am. But isn’t everyone? Money matters. That’s a hard fact. No one can survive without it. Everything in our lives depends on it.
So if my future children and I are going to live in a state of financial deficiency, even temporarily, I need to know. I need to be mentally prepared. Adjust to the situation. Skip a few meals. See how it goes. It’s not something I would like to be sprung on.
A person who can let you blindly walk into such a situation is without a doubt, very cruel. Capable of murder even.
The second reason is that I am so over the “girls are materialistic” talk.
So you want to get married? You want to live in a house? You want to have children? You want take care of those children? Love, while oh so precious, won’t pay rent or buy necessities. If your child is hungry, “I love you” will not magically make them full.So you do need money.
At this point, I would now like to discuss one of many unsolicited pieces of advice given to girls. “If you choose a man with a television over a man with a vision, you will soon watch the man with a vision on your man’s television.”
My friend Judy’s response to that is: “So it can only be one or the other? A man with a vision can’t have a television? Or vice versa” I think she is spot-on.
Besides, who is to say that once the man’s vision works out, you won’t watch him on television with another woman? I mean is it not a common occurrence for some men to turn into ungrateful lying cheating *bad word* after their wives have stood by them through ‘poorer’?
The third reason why I support the bride running away upon discovering that the groom is poor is simple really.
It’s her life. No one could possibly fit, later on walk in her shoes. And human beings are always going to judge you no matter what. They might as well judge you while you eat and sleep well.
But on the whole, it’s about time we started having honest conversations about money. Money matters a lot.
Acting like we don’t care about it doesn’t help anyone.