LooseTalk: The beer secrets

Local rapper Ama G the Black has a new song whose lyrics I'm yet to click, but which I'm confident is poised to be the next big thing after kanda amazi.

Local rapper Ama G the Black has a new song whose lyrics I’m yet to click, but which I’m confident is poised to be the next big thing after kanda amazi.

The song’s title is Nyabarongo, and it has that easy kanda amazi appeal that makes it easy to dance to, but even more important, sing along to it.

I have noticed that Nyabarongo has a special appeal among drinkers of Turbo King, a tough local stout beer that has been described as the poor man’s Guinness in some circles. I have tried Turbo King and indeed it tastes close to Guinness, only that Guinness is blacker, or darker, whichever is the correct expression.

Actually, Guinness is so dark, or black, it should have been named Black Panther or Black Mamba instead.

Guinness is also not exactly cheap, in that who wants to buy one small beer at a retail price of Rwf 1,000?

Meanwhile, the people at Super Gin headquarters should seriously consider adopting a catchy tag line for promotional purposes. Just like Turbo King positions itself as inzoga y’abagabo, Super Gin should also state its case. Perhaps something along the lines of; “Super Gin …hot as hell.”

Also, compared to other beers like Primus and Knowless and Petite Knowless and Gatanu and Skol, it is extremely tough to pop open a bottle of Turbo. After Turbo, the other beer that is extremely tough to open is Mutzig.

I have seen some hard core drinkers who sometimes use their teeth to open their beer, but rarely is it the case for a Turbo.

Similarly, it’s much easier to pop a Lnowless bottle as compared to the parent Primus. This is because the big Primus is the real deal as opposed to this talk of Knowless and petite knowless which, to be honest with my taste buds, and truth be told, are like photocopies of Primus as people have always known it.

Another useful hint about bière is that always be careful when buying an Amstel in a dimly lit bar because you could end up with a Turbo King instead.

And the chief problem with Turbo King is that anyone who drinks it risks being labeled a big fan of Ama G the Black, yet I don’t want anyone to know me as one. Just because I like and can make mention of Nyabarongo does not mean that I’m in his fans’ club.

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