I’m of the school that not everyone is your friend, and I cannot wait for the day everyone learns this so we can move on and cherish the great friendships and let everyone fall into their roles in people’s lives without any messiness or confusion.
This all makes sense to me until it comes to relationships. Why is your guy friend getting jealous? Why are your girl friends getting annoyed with how little time you spend with them?
My solution is to explain to everyone where they fall in your life so it is very clear; when it isn’t clear it allows a few of them to cross boundaries they really shouldn’t which can harm your relationship with your man and also your relationship with that person.
In one of my past relationships, I had a serious issue with a man who was unable to define boundaries. To the outside world, everyone was his friend but in reality he really cared about few and the rest he considered acquaintances that he enjoyed hanging with but wouldn’t lose sleep over if they decided to move away.
As a person who had few valuable friends and treated acquaintances like acquaintances, I completely did not understand it and would get mad when some of these lady acquaintances mistook his kindness for something else. I was alright with friends until I felt there was some funniness and blurriness coming from this relationship.
In my world, when it comes to friendships, it’s black and white; there should be no grey area especially when you are in a relationship simply for your own comfort and that of your partner.
I know this probably sounds ridiculous and to some insecure, which is fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Believe me, I hated getting into fights with my partner about people who he saw as insignificant and I saw as quite important because if you are taking the time to start conversations with them, tell them you miss them or make the time to listen to their problems then they are closer than just acquaintances.
So they should be addressed as that so as to simply allow clear communication to your partner in a language they understand.
Ultimately, I gave up fighting, once in awhile it would piss me off and since I’m not one to mince words, I would express this to him but I don’t think it was a deal breaker. I know a lot of relationships that allowed “friends” to come in between their relationship.
So please couples, for the sake of all that is good on this earth, can we please have clear lines not just for everyone’s understanding but out of respect for your partner. I would hate for my partner to ever feel insecure over someone who didn’t matter and who he simply asked to draw the line. Everyone is strong until they have to deal with certain problems that make them question another human being.
Well if you want to know, I ended it with that person. I couldn’t deal with the extra women who were in the relationship with us. Yes, they were friends but I really couldn’t deal with the fact that this man would not put my comfort as a priority. I wasn’t asking for too much; I was asking for clarification and he could not give that to me, so why should I expect any other harder challenges to be dealt with in the future?
21st century ladies, what would you have done if you were in my situation?