Take a bloody chill pill, will you?

First things first; can all you married women out there take a bloody chill pill. Stop gloating for Christ’s sake!

First things first; can all you married women out there take a bloody chill pill. Stop gloating for Christ’s sake!

Now, it is with deep sorrow that I announce the end of my friend’s single life. Actually on a sadder note, that is like the tenth friend I have lost to the institution of marriage. This damn institution has carefully chosen who is and isn’t fit to join the circle of the betrothed.

Now, I can deal with leaving all alone on the single side of life but for Pete’s sake will you not gloat about your new miserable life! Nope! I am not saying this out of jealousy! But I will gossip about the chick right here right now.

You see, I have a good reason to believe her new home is not paradise as she would like us to believe.

She texted me asking me to buy for her the over glorified junk from the Kampala based Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). I politely informed the young lady that I did not have money on me but if the craving was so bad, perhaps she could ask her hubby to buy her KFC. To which she replied with hate.

Anyway to cut the long story short the merciless woman reminded me that she was happily married and her husband is not there to buy her KFC but he is there to buy land.

Someone help me, what is the cost of land? But be reminded that it is more than enough to get one person that damn chicken (what is it with the damn chicken anyway? Was it dipped in gold or what?).

Ladies, we are happy for you when you walk down the aisle but do not rub your marriage in our faces and then try to live off me only because that makes you look broke and probably unhappy!

I am not jealous because I’m broke and unmarried! I am just saying if you decided to get married sit your butt down and eat your seed beetled beans and be content if that is what your husband can provide.

Now if ever you want to rub your marriage in my face because I am single I suggest you think twice about it. Don’t show off and then ask for my chicken... there is a difference between me and your husband. Just because I showed up at your wedding doesn’t mean I exchanged vows with you.

Nobody said that when you get married you get the finer things in life. Live with what you have or if you must, tell him to chill the land and buy you KFC chicken instead. Do whatever you want, just don;t make my poor wallet a part of it, okay?

Subscribe to The New Times E-Paper


You want to chat directly with us? Send us a message on WhatsApp at +250 788 310 999    

 

Follow The New Times on Google News