I broke up with my boyfriend four months ago and we cut communication and haven’t seen each other. Recently I met this wonderful guy and I am asking myself when the right time to get to another relationship is. I don’t want to look like the girl that jumped into another relationship immediately after ending another. It might make me seem desperate. But I don’t want to stall either; the new guy might lose his patience and move to someone else.
Do whatever you please
Two months or two years, it shouldn’t matter how long it takes you before you can move on to the next relationship. You seem more concerned on how you will look in society’s eyes than what you really want. It is time you realised that minding what society thinks about you doesn’t help much. It is time you acted as a grown woman who is not afraid to pursue her pleasures.
Society will always judge you for whatever you do, grow a thick skin and do whatever makes you happy. After all, you can’t please everyone, can you?
I you think the guy you recently met is worth a try, go for it, that chance might not be there waiting for ever, by the time you look away not wanting to look like ‘the girl who jumps from relationship to another’ he might already have left. And then the only thing you will have left is regret - regret that you were too busy worrying about what people will think instead of living your life.
Collins, 26, is married
It’s best to take your time
There is one thing I would say no to - a rebound relationship - because this is what it seems like to me. Are you absolutely sure that even after cutting communication with your ex you are not still into him?
If there is even the slightest chance that you might still be into your ex then it is way too early to start a new relationship.
Other than that, I don’t think there is a right time to date someone new. If you like him then nothing should hold you back. Just be honest with yourself and don’t rush into something because you don’t want to be alone.
In your case, it would be best to take your time and get yourself back on track before swinging in another man’s direction.
I know you said he might not wait around forever but hey, if he doesn’t then it wasn’t meant to be and you might be saving yourself a lot of trouble.
Patrick, 22, is in a stable relationship
Your ex isn’t even our the door yet!
I like how you are trying to make it seem like you actually need guidance on this matter. The bitter truth is that I think you already know what you want and are going to do. So stop wasting everybody’s time and just get on with it.
However, if you insist on some advice, mine would be to let your past relationship at least get cold. I know you said you never communicate but girl, four months ago you were in love. Now you are suddenly over it? Most chicks I know don’t get over guys that easily unless they didn’t love them to begin with - which makes you a horrible individual for stringing him along and making him believe he had a future with you.
You are clearly ready to move on which makes my suspicion about your charcter quite accurate but hey, you do your thing. I really hope it works out for you. It would be a shame to rush into something you are already calling great even when you havent quite experienced it yet only to find it was a hoax.
Dean, 28, is single