My ex-boyfriend and I met in Uganda and had a passionate affair for four months after which he moved to the UK to continue his studies. I cannot say we were perfect. But I have to admit I love him. We continued our relationship on Skype for four more months. We felt very good about our relationship.
One day he asked me if it would be okay if he had sex with someone else. He said he would be happy with whatever I decided. I could not control my anger and we fought a lot after that. He recently broke up with me. I really do love him and don’t want to lose him. Should I let him have his fling?
Distance does that to people
The problem with long distance relationships is that they are characterised by small misunderstandings and frequent break ups over petty issues. Long distance relationships have complications because of the levels of mistrust and doubts involved. You are clearly undergoing spells of doubt and stress arising from the long distance thing.
Your so called boyfriend is an honest bold guy. If he was bold enough to tell you that he wishes to sleep with someone else, you need to understand that he has needs to fulfill with or without your consent.
At times you need to let situations breathe and take a shape on their own, do not force yourself to be with him though you are worlds apart and constantly getting into fights.
At times distance wins, it can keep you away from people you love, the only thing you can do for now is wait till he gets back. Otherwise you are going to keep having petty fights.
Collins, 26, is married
What does your heart tell you?
I am really sorry to hear that. If you really feel like he is the one then don’t let him go. Let him know how you feel.
Tell him that you love him deeply and you were crushed when he brought up the topic of having sex with someone else. Admit that you were afraid to lose him. Own up to the fact that you didn’t talk about your feelings but instead acted on them and pushed him away.
Assure him that you are ready to work things out despite the distance. Then tell him that you wish him well with his girlfriend incase he wants to move on. Then let go.
One thing you should keep in mind is don’t just go for it when he says he wants you back. Make sure he is committed to you and wants to start something real.
Otherwise the best I can do is wish you luck.
Patrick, 22, is in stable relationship
You should have seen this coming
I think it is cute that you are willing to let your boyfriend sleep with another woman just so you don’t breakup. But think about yourself for a change.
Is this really something you can handle because if you can’t, don;t do it just to please him.
If he can’t be faithful to you then he really doesn’t deserve you.
Think about it; would you ask him such a thing? Would you ever think of sleeping with anyone but him?
If not, then you have your answer. He has no business asking you such. I understand men have needs but so do you. And your need is for him to stay faithful.
Don’t be desperate. If he wants to sleep around, don’t be a part of it.
A better guy will come along, they always do!
Martin, 29, is single