In primary, there was this one girl who had made lying a full time hobby. There was not a shred of truth that ever came out of her mouth. Her lies had a level of exaggeration enough to drive anyone insane. Every night, after retiring to our dorms, she took us through stories of how big the house she lived in was and the crazy number of servants in it – apparently even one to tie her shoelaces! This is for real. Apparently they had a swimming pool the size of a man-made lake and she was well on her way to being the Michael Phelps of those days. I think this lie came at a time when she thought she’d never have to prove to us just how well she could swim. But like I always say, life (or perhaps God) has a killer sense of humour. Our class won a swimming trip after a school debate. You can imagine my excitement – anticipating watching this fish wrapped in a human’s body.D-day came and we all jumped into the water. I specifically insisted on giving her room to show us her moves. This chick just coiled up in the corner of the shallow end, as if bathing in the pool! When asked why she wasn’t swimming, she said the water was too cold. Let me inform you that the heat of that day was practically scalding! She then proceeded to sit on the edge of the pool and splash the water with her feet. It was a sight I can never forget. We went back to school disappointed in the human fish. Her misery heightened when her father came on visitation literally riding a bicycle. He had a sack of whatever grub he had brought her safely strapped at the back. Normally, this would be cool, but after you have assured everyone how your father owns a Mercedes and a chauffeur, you must understand how this turned out to be hilarious! Because some people just don’t give up, she hid from her own father! The poor man waited and waited and actually got worried, thinking something was wrong with his daughter. When a search party was sent out, she came out of hiding but trust her not to give up. She went ahead to tell kids later that it was an uncle from the village!What are you doing denying your own father because you already gave people the impression that you are rich? Dude, that’s just wrong! Style up already. Not everyone in the world was born to be rich, so appreciate what you have, make the most of it and above all, love and respect the people who brought you into the world because without them, you’d be just another wasted sperm!
