Do you have an idea for The New Times to cover? Submit it here!

Is what you want taking too long?

Relationships might not exactly strain you but sometimes, if they are not absolute bliss, they can send you into a thinking binge or turn you into a spy! If yours has turned into some sort of obsession, some of the researched factors that lead to obsession are apparently traumatic past experiences, missing out on love and other things.

A woman wants a nurturing relationship; women have that ideal kind of love played in their minds.  This may have been modeled by television romance. Shockingly, some women have no idea what love is like. Even though she is smart and knows what she wants in life she may have a tendency to play dumb and sing along just to feel accepted.  


This kind of woman tolerates anything and makes sacrifices in a relationship. She will do anything to keep a relationship going. Women are nurturing and loving, but it is imperative to learn the art of loving yourself first before seeking to be loved. Only then can another individual truly appreciate you.  


Do not tire your head with ‘what if’s’ or make excuses for an uncommitted lover. Love should be mutual. If he feels the same way he will love you the way you should be loved. If he doesn’t, then chances are that he does not feel the same way you do. I am of the opinion that people do not fall in love; people walk in love. It is a conscious decision; not a possibility.


Accept that there are people who no matter how much you invest in them, will never give you back the love you are looking for. There will always be someone who will love you for you. It may not be the person you want but they do anyway.

If I were you, I would quit chasing after wind and love the person that is available. You will never find a person with all the qualities you are looking for. What are your guiding principles? Go with those.

Monitor your own patterns and alert yourself when you need to seek external help. Keep your feelings noted down and your thoughts about the person you are into; this is a good way to get some of the baggage of your chest. It beats carrying it around.

Above all, try not to torment yourself. Whatever you feel, whether the person you have feelings for knows it or not, is absolutely normal. There is nothing to be ashamed of; find out if it’s worth it or a just a waste of your time.

For news tips and story ideas please WhatsApp +250 788 310 999    


Follow The New Times on Google News