I have come across more than enough articles to get on my nerves about how baby showers are a modern day rip-off. I mean, society has become so self centered that friends and family no longer find the act of giving rise to a new born such a mysterious ascendancy in nature, that is worth celebrating and offering support to others whenever possible. Even more nerve wrecking was an article shared on social media by a male writer advising women on how to evade planning or attending a baby shower. Don’t get me wrong, it is not as if the male gender should not have any right sharing their opinions about femininity, because we ladies discuss our misgivings about men all the time. The issue is how the foresaid party seemingly took the act of giving birth for granted and saw it befitting to advise other young ladies to do the same. I couldn’t respond to that article at the time because I was raised well and I was taught not to speak if I have nothing nice to say. So today I have a response for likeminded optimists, who do not mind being invited and called upon to as many baby showers as possible. The only secret is that, you do not need to break your back in trying to do what you cannot afford, and if you can’t show up for as many baby showers as you are invited to, that is also okay. What is not okay is to publicly shame friends and family who want to celebrate their new milestone and seek financial, emotional as well as social support where they are stuck. The same applies to bridal showers but that is a story for another day. I find that the idea of belittling baby showers is a new trend of self-centeredness that should not be condoned. We always want to be given but never willing to give back. Let’s say roles were reversed and as a very vocal opponent of baby showers you are due in less than a month, would you be mellow if nobody offers to treat you/pampered with something nice as you start a new journey in your life? Wouldn’t you want to do something different before the silence disappears and all you can hear day and night is a baby’s cry? By the way baby showers are not just about looking glam and feeding well, the idea is to also advice the mother, especially if she is a new mum. You can either get an experienced mother to speak and advice on things like sleep training, self-care after birth, how to succumb fatigue, how to feed a baby, transitioning back to work after giving birth etc. These are not milestones you achieve by the click of a button. Also important to mention is that at most times, mothers are excited by the ninth month since conception and they want to tell the news to everybody, they also want everyone they love to know and be close to them during this season. If you are invited to attend a baby shower therefore, consider yourself special. Maybe a long time ago people did not go all out to buy a lot of gifts, set up décor, hire a photographer and make a buzz on social media; this is just a bougie way of appreciating motherhood. There is nothing wrong with being extra if you and all your friends can afford to. It was also not as difficult as it is today to conceive a baby. Year after year we notice that the rate of infertility is increasing globally as diseases such as cancer, fibroids, and endometriosis reduce the chances of giving birth. We have parties for all sorts of things all year round, we celebrate: new jobs, promotions, friends/family leaving the country, engagement, national holidays, birthdays and religious holidays. So what becomes the problem in welcoming a new creature to earth to also enjoy life? I’m sure planet earth doesn’t have enough people as it is, if it would you wouldn’t have space to move and breathe. Life is as hard as it is so let us celebrate when an opportunity presents itself. It’s always the simple things that make life more beautiful. Twitter: @christineamira
