The time to end rape is now

It is tiring to see, read and hear about rape. Tales of rape from the youngest and oldest of our society are just sickening. Who is safe, where are women safe? The time to end this is now, and as a woman I believe in the power we have to end this traumatising experience happening to women all around the world. Do you want to know how bad it is here at home? Go through old and current newspaper articles, Google ‘father defiles daughter’ or ‘rape cases’ and see what comes up. Go through rape stories on social media platforms you will know how serious this issue is.  

It has been said the justice system does not help enough because it is dominated by men, how about we come up with a form of justice where the culprit is marked for life. There is a tendency of some victims protecting the identity of the perpetrator, or taking a long time before they can even say what happened to them. Take a moment and think about the power your silence as a victim gives the perpetrator. Whether it is a friend, uncle, father, cousin, colleague or stranger, if a man rapes a 26-year-old and threatens her using his family name or money, and she keeps quiet waiting to talk about it at her own time in her own way, it means for that whole while this man, favoured by her silence, will continue to do that to other women. He will continue to hang around and drug female friends and rape them uninterrupted. 

 

We cannot not know the defiler of a two-year-old and not know the rapist of a 30-year-old. One of those two is in a position to call out the monster that caused them grief. 

 

Call the culprit out in the name of ‘he did this to me; I will not let him do it to another person.’ 

 

On social media a guy is rarely mentioned by one person as a rapist, there will be a few other women pointing fingers at the same person, why? It is because during the time when a raped woman was thinking of how and when to come out, he went on his business with no care. Bringing an end to the rape culture will take strong willed women.  

The rapists are our husbands, family, friends who visit our homes, and we share meals with them oblivious of the fear in our daughters’ eyes as we force them to sit on ‘uncles’ laps.

Ladies, nobody is going to save us if we don’t save ourselves. They will continue to blame it on us and claim we wore a skirt too short or heels too high. 

Don’t protect the identity of your rapist. He spiked your drink, he drugged you, he threatened to kill you if you said a word, his office is too powerful he will find you wherever you go? Well, say his name so that the rest of the women avoid him like a plague. A man that tears through the organ of a two-year-old is a monster and should not be allowed to put on a suit and tie and go out for lunch with colleagues as if they are sane, no. A man who does not believe no, means NO, should not be our friend, sex should be consensual and as long as it is not, that is someone that caused another human trauma and should pay for it. We can continue pleading with authorities to do something, and yes indeed they will try but be assured of the rarity of sufficient evidence half the time. Act when the evidence cannot be disproved, strike while the iron is hot, carry that wet bloody garment to the authorities show them the wound and sores while still fresh. 

Otherwise a female victim will lose a case because court officials found three mats in a room instead of four, as if it is a wall that would require work to bring down. We cannot always play victim, there are situations where we can come out on top and, trust me, ensuring that guy is marked for life is one victory we will celebrate. If your husband married you after raping you he is a rapist, if your boyfriend raped you he is not a boyfriend he is a rapist, no sugar coating no pussyfooting around.

editor@newtimesrwanda.com

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