With countless news stories, pictures, and articles detailing social media’s hazards, parents in increasing numbers, are trying to understand the digital generation and are concerned about their teens’ use of social media. Join the discussion on Twitter ! With countless news stories, detailing social media’s hazards, parents in increasing numbers are concerned about their teens’ use of social media. Should parents limit their teens’ access to social media? — The New Times (Rwanda) (@NewTimesRwanda) February 22, 2019 At the same time, teens by the millions, have fully immersed themselves in the digital world and have their own views on what’s happening. Social media, however, is a broad term. Looking at the technical definition, many websites and apps could technically be seen as “social media” even those whose main demographic is kids. In all its forms, it enables young people express their opinions, interact with peers and family, learn about the news, as well as obtain health information and access to services. Is that not why it was invented in the first place? It’s a new era; everyone is hungry for information, according to research, depriving teenagers from access to social media could therefore interfere with their ability to assimilate into new social environments and to explore social, political and religious values. Also, let’s not forget that for the longest time, teenagers have had restrictions on almost every aspect of their lives. From which slumber parties they should attend, to the movies that they are allowed to watch to the kind of friends that they should retain, they have always had to have permission over everything. As a solution to what they think is controlling their lives, they have resorted to finding friends online. It’s their place to hang out. It’s a valid tool to promote social interaction for them. It’s their house party, where for many, the parents will never come home. Teens want to go where their friends are, and this is nothing new. Social media is a safe space where teenagers will be freely addicted to their friends, and so to them it’s more about social participation. It’s their place of identity. As teenagers, we often fought so hard to stand out and find our identity in school. We did this by writing names on walls, even though it was punishable, and printing our pictures on T-shirts. That natural craving for attention and identity in teens today hasn’t changed, even though times have. Social media is a wider audience for them to shine. To post their favourite pictures, show off their cool friends and fashion or dancing skills. Speaking of skills, young people are naturally very industrious people and the internet can help make them more or very productive, and what better than social media that has become a path to celebrity. This potential for fame is attractive for teens. It’s not news that digital celebrities earn endorsement deals, sponsorships, and jobs in television, film and radio. Why deny them their chance of a brighter future, when they can start their careers, digitally, now. However, while parents may argue that it is addictive and explicit content harms their innocent minds, have they thought about the alternatives such as explicit content filters and safe modes? With enough knowledge about these, social media would not be a problem, as there is a brighter side to it. Growing up, if you wanted the physical definition of a rebellious teenager, I was it. Yap, every gray hair on my mom’s head was prematurely let loose by my reckless actions. I can only imagine the catastrophe had there been the kind of social media influence there is today. Last year, I found out that my 14-year-old daughter had two social media accounts. She used her cousin’s phone to activate Facebook and Instagram. One day, I logged into Facebook, as I went through my newsfeed, suggestions of ‘friends to add’ came up. My daughter was one of them. The same thing happened on Instagram. The name she used left something to be desired, but that is a story for another day. A truck load of questions clogged my mind. When did she open these accounts? Who were her friends? What does her newsfeed look like? She has been in the same school for about five years, and going by her own admission, her friends haven’t left the school either. So, who is she ‘connecting’ with? Does she have friends in other schools? When and how did she meet them? I eventually had her abandon the accounts, albeit temporarily, but only because I was afraid of what they could do to her. And she understood. At least I hope she did. There has been controversy as to whether parents should limit the use of social media by teenagers. Every teenager in the world acts like being dramatic is a birthright, and in true adolescent fashion, they feel they know best. That they are in control. But are they? I’m no expert, but I know how dark the internet can be. Some people post and share videos that would leave even the most notorious Las Vegas showgirl astonished, and unfortunately, underage kids with access to this are not their concern. “Their parents should keep them off the net”, they say. I agree. I mean, if we do not protect our own kids, who do we imagine will? Social media, even with its many advantages, has become that place where ‘bad people’ lurk. We read about paedophiles in disguise looking to ‘make friends’ with naïve underage girls. We read about cyber bullying, leaving many youngsters depressed or suicidal. Most of the teens that are addicted to social media are affected by such. Depressed teenagers tend to use social media as a therapeutic approach to enable them to flee away from the challenges that they are facing. I imagine that they are ultimately led to further depression the second they log off. Youngsters are easily influenced. This addiction will not spare them. We tell ourselves that they know better, but do they really? Do we tell them how treacherous the world is? Do we explain that ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing’ do not lurk in the dark—that with just a click of a mouse, they (youngsters) can be led straight to evil’s doorstep? Social media has sunk its claws so deep into their daily routine that they are constantly comparing themselves to others, craving for the attention it has to offer, and getting accustomed to seeking approval from their peers. Yes, there is a lot they could learn from it, the problem is, are they interested in that? Would you trust them completely with a phone loaded with internet bundles to do some online research about a topic in school. To go to appropriate websites and get tips on staying fit and healthy, or do better in school, or help the community? When do they even get time to study when they spend half the time trying out new Shapchat filters to post on Instagram? How focused will they be in class when they chat with friends till two in the morning? Call me old fashioned but I need my children to be more excited about books than social media. Many people access the internet for every small detail and have forgotten the use of books and a dictionary— the art of writing and doing things practically. We barely have conversations anymore because we are too busy with our phones. Actual interaction is dying. It might not be necessary to completely keep them off the net, however, we should monitor them, and keep it for educational purposes. I want my children to know what it is like to have an actual conversation with someone. To know how to speak, because even in this digital era, verbal interaction is still necessary. I want my children to know that the sun does not rise and set on the internet’s ‘bottom’. To know that the world doesn’t really care how many followers you have on Instagram. And above all, danger comes in many forms. I’m not saying that as long as our kids are not exposed to it, they are safe. I’m saying that my job is to protect my children, anyway that I can.
