Relationship or situationship?

At the end of relationship there are two things that could happen, either the two people involved will amicably go their separate ways or will start throwing shade at each other. Our African stories mostly fall in the second category. Sadly, when we get out is when we will say how much we had persevered in that relationship. How the woman was not nice at all and the man was not ‘tall’ enough.

A friend of mine in Tanzania was in the process of divorcing her husband of 13 years. They were such a social media couple; the kind that posts love messages for each other, they would flood their pages with beautiful family photos. Let’s just say they were goals!


How does the social media life of such a person change when the relationship ends? We have seen some delete photos and begin to post parables.


This Tanzanian friend used her social media pages to rant; she called the father of her two sons all sorts of obscenities. What beats logic though is how someone thinks labeling an ex all sorts of things absolves them of the happenings in the relationship when he or she was still an item with the ex in question. Seriously, think of it, if you start saying how the ex never satisfied you sexually then you are likely to cause people to assume that each time they saw you with someone of the opposite sex you were looking for satisfaction which had eluded you at home. Saying nasty things about an ex does not make you a saint.


A pastor made news in Uganda when he washed his dirty linen in public. The man of God has found new love and is considering divorcing his wife of 29 years, so he decided now is the best time for the congregation to know that he has slept with his wife less than 100 times in 29 years. The philandering man, trying to justify his ways went on to say how his wife, just like the woman in the Bible with a blood issue, has cost him a lot of money buying packs and packs of cotton. Cotton wool, because sanitary pads were no longer working. His faithful sheep clapped and said ‘Amen’ to that.

An actress in Nigeria chose to call out the father of her son after they went separate ways. That was an opportune moment for people to learn that she fully funded her wedding and that the man had only bought four pieces of clothing for the child since he was born.

Another actress who is currently divorcing her husband of two and a half years has said how her husband and his family practice witchcraft and they had put her under a spell. She has revealed how he had stopped her from talking to her relatives or friends. She was like a prisoner in that marriage.

I now understand why couples in the developed world do separate due to ‘irreconcilable differences’ it is not wise to litter the same streets you will walk on.

Follow Jackie on Twitter @JackieLumbasi


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