Motherhood: The highs and lows

When they’re born, it is every parent’s greatest day. The things they do as they grow—first smile to first steps—are enough to warm anyone’s heart. You wonder how it is possible to love another human being that much. That is parenthood.

Robert Browning, a poet, once said ‘All love begins and ends with motherhood.’

It might be hard to comprehend, but a mother’s love has stood the test of time. It is known to be unconditional and everlasting.

Motherhood is a challenging but beautiful journey.  /Net photo

Mother’s Day is around the corner, a celebration honouring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society.

Many women describe motherhood as a ‘chapter in their lives that put their world into perspective’.

Ange Umulisa, a former TV host and emcee, says motherhood, for her, has been colourful and that every day comes with new experiences.

“It’s a thrilling experience really; as your kid grows older you learn something new each day.”

Umulisa says a mother plays a big role in shaping the person their child will become. She, on the other hand, points out the constant pressure of worrying if one is doing a good job with parenting.

“There is always that pressure of ‘am I making the right choices for my child?’ But again, you just have to trust your instincts when it comes to being a mother,” she says.

Umulisa, however, notes that regardless of how motherhood can be challenging, for her, it is the most beautiful feeling.

“The thought that there is this little human who looks up to me and loves me unconditionally is humbling.”

Amanda Fung, a senior manager at Karisimbi Business Partners, says her journey with motherhood has been wonderful.

She says the experience is incredibly rewarding, for there is so much joy in watching the little one smile or laugh.

“There is so much pride in seeing your little one learn something new. We love our baby J and it’s been amazing to watch him learn and grow,” she says.

On challenges on motherhood, Fung says it’s normal for every first time mother to have moments where she wonders if she is doing the right thing.

“I am very grateful to have a supportive partner and husband who is very engaged as a father. We parent together and we learn together. I am also grateful for a mother, a sister, and dear friends who can offer insights from their experiences as mothers,” Fung adds.

Nothing compares to a mother’s love

Deborah Nanyonga is a mother of a six-year-old girl. She says that becoming a mother is one of the things she is grateful to God for.

“It helped me in many aspects. I learnt that nothing can be compared to a mother’s love because all your plans and focus are for your children. It also strengthened my relationship with my mother since I now understand and know why she is called mother,” she says.

Nanyonga explains motherhood as the responsibility one takes on in good faith so as to see her children prosper in all aspects.

“I didn’t spend a lot of time with my baby girl because I had to finish school at the same time. But what really makes me feel good is the fact that she has never called me ‘stranger’ or mistook me for someone else. All her life from day one till now she knows that I am her mother and that alone makes me proud and brag about motherhood,” she notes.

She confesses to having her ‘lows’ on motherhood adding that it is through this that she learns how to mother her daughter.

“There are times when I try to tell her what is right but she ends up crying because of fear, and that makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing. But in reality she cries because of how I talk to her. So I get stranded, not knowing how to talk to her politely. But it is through this that I get to learn how to parent.”

Peninah Umutesi shares her experience on motherhood calling it an interesting and challenging journey.

She says it is always easy in the beginning because the expenses are not that much, but as the child grows, things start to change.

“Every mother wants the best for their child yet at times life isn’t a bed of roses. It’s challenging when you wish your child to have a diet you cannot afford yet it’s the best for their health,” she says.

Umutesi says that for her, each stage came with an effect to her baby. “She often fell sick when she was entering a new stage of her life, for example, crawling or learning to sit.

“Life then moves to the schooling stage which gives a lot of joy and excitement to both the child and the mother, but you can’t help but wonder how she will survive the new environment. And when it comes to the expenses at school, my God, today, education is the most expensive child right.”

She goes on to explain that for her, being a mother has been exciting and scaring at times.

“When I tested for pregnancy and it came out positive, I got excited but I was always in amazement of how a baby was growing inside me.

“The most shocking thing is that you can’t touch or see it physically, so it puzzles a lot for the first pregnancy especially.”

Umutesi still marvels about that first time she held her baby in her arms.

“That moment when the doctor tells you to hold your little one is the most exciting and interesting part. Seeing a baby and the size that was in you! It’s very hard to believe.”

editor@newtimesrwanda.com

 

 

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