Having been on the dating scene for quite a while, I am now eagle-eyed about people’s character. And it is with great sadness that I am here to let you know that there is an increasing number of slackers out there. And no matter how smart you are, you are very likely to fall prey to a slacker’s scams because he isalways smart and charming. He is a great listener. He is romantic. He is good looking. He is available. At least at the start. In no time you will go to church to thank God for finally listening to your prayers. Once he has you hooked, everything goes downhill from there. He falls back into his real self. So you fell in love with a great listener? Too bad because he no longer exists. And if you complain about his change in behavior towards you, he will respond with: “Do you expect someone perfect?” With that, he successfully manipulates you into thinking that you are asking for too much. You start to settle for less than what you want and somehow forget that he pretended that he could give you what you want. Where he once had time for you, he is suddenly busy and can’t make time unless it’s late night or on the weekend. he will disappear from time to time only to show up with “I miss you. I’ve been thinking about you.” But in truth, people are only as busy as you’re important. “I don’t know. What do you think?” is his go-to response for almost every question that requires him to make a committing statement. Because then later if he fails to keep his word, he will be able to insinuate that you forced the decision on him. He is inconsistent. He puts in the work required to make you fall in love, but once you do, you have to do the texting and calling and all the planning. You will complain yourself to death and he will have excuses or turn it around on you. Only when you threaten to leave or show disinterest will he put in effort again and give the illusion that he is willing to do better. It becomes a cycle. He does not discuss relationships in great detail.“It just didn’t work out” with his ex and he does not have an end in mind in your relationship. He wants to “see how it goes.” And sure, he will compliment you on your potential to make a good wife, but do not take this to mean that he wants to wife you. He doesn’t want to put in the time and sacrifice required to make a relationship work. You might hear phrases like: “I like to be peaceful.” So fights remain unresolved because instead of talking he’d rather ‘kiss and makeup.’ You know those people who do something wrong and then go quiet for a while and then come back asking: “Are you still mad at me?” Yes; those ones. They are slackers. You can decide to stay with a slacker or you can leave him. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can love, nag, threaten or blackmail him into changing.
