THE GLAMOROUS LIFE of a celebrity is envied by many, until there are headlines of their divorce. Following the divorce announcements of some of Rwandas most well-known celebrities, such as Safi Madiba and his wife Judith Niyonizere, many individuals have taken to social media to highlight how fame and marriage can be tough, given how many celebrity couples divorce in Rwanda and around the world. Many more celebrities have divorced in recent years, including Miss Rwanda 2012 Aurore Mutesi Kayibanda and her husband Egide Mbabazi, DJ Pius and his wife MC Ange and the list goes on. Recently, one of the world’s richest men, Bill Gates, divorced his wife Melinda gates alongside one of the trusted pastors in the world, pastor Chris and his wife Anita Ebhodaghe, which shows how the spirit of divorce in celebrities has emerged to another level. According to a study from the U.K.-based Marriage Foundation, celebrities have a divorce rate of around 40% within ten years. Jeannette Gatera, co-founder of Family Networks Ministries and co-writer of a book named ‘Can Marriage Be Successful,’ says most divorce causes are common for all married couples. However, some are unique due to celebrity lifestyles. “Misinterpretation of gender balance has been a major factor. They think they can do everything they want (rights). Popularity among celebrities is a major cause of divorce. Celebrities engage with different people from all areas of the world, which sometimes contributes to bad decisions. Relating to many people results into having love affairs with other partners (infidelity), while associating with divorced people also influences many to divorce,” she said. Another thing is the management of finances. Most celebrities marry people who take advantage of their wealth which later lead to divorce because one party has more profits from the other, like properties and other things of value. This will cause financial insecurity. Another problem is that most celebrity couples jump to marriage without an intense courtship period which is where people tend to learn about each other. This is what makes divorce a choice after they get married and see that they are not compatible. According to Innocent Kabera, a family and couple counselor based in Rwanda, the most common cause of divorce in most couples is the incompatibility between couples. “They have different visions, different ways of perceiving things, and this will lead to frequent arguments, and this might be stressful and lead to divorce,” said Innocent Kabera. “Famous people might suffer from narcissism where each individual would be fighting for public attention, which would like lead to domestic problems. Without also forgetting the stress of social Media’s scrutiny can also turn some couples down,” he added. Kabera said that what they can do to avoid the situation is to sit and make sure that they are all on the same page of the goals they are achieving together and that they need to make sure they have common interests and learn to grow together. “Giving each other space is also essential, which means that trust needs to be built upon. And should reduce the amount spent on social media because they can’t escape the paparazzi rumors… They should leave this to their social media managers/handle holders.” Innocent Kabera shared ways to avoid getting to the last choice of a marriage, which is divorce. “One way to avoid them is to place a strong emphasis on character development, acquiring communication skills, and learning to be empathic and compassionate, knowing that not every problem should be viewed as a nail,” Kabera added. He went on to say that before getting married, each pair should learn about their partner, ask them crucial questions, and determine if their visions fit with theirs. You will avoid the previously mentioned causes if you rest. According to Kabera, it’s not likely for the divorced couple to come back together. The percentage is still low, and different factors play the role like how long you have been together, the security of your children, reconsidering what you are going to lose.
