The idea of a romantic Holy Week is doable

Tell them it’s the Holy Week and they will say “yeah, righto, we’re on it, mate!” in a diluted American accent. But turn the tail of the coin and say romance, they will leer. To the self-egalitarian and quintessential Christians of today, romance is not part of the Holy Week. They shudder at the thought of it. They starve their spouses and make all sorts of pretences. But hey, did you know we have a new Pope?Francis I is a man who is shaking the Vatican traditions. He has already rejected a pad preferring a kennel for a home. He has also broken the tradition of Maundy Thursday by becoming the first Pope to wash the feet of women and allow women into the Last Supper rites. My prayer: Do Not Wait For Pope Francis To Tell You That It’s Okay To Make Love In Holy Week.But the love I preach is not your pagan one of straying from bed post to bed post, so we are going to learn the romantic things you can do during the remaining days of the Holy Week.Maundy SaturdayNow that a Pope has washed the feet of women, your madam is going to demand equal rights. You are her eternal Pope, so don’t disappoint her. Today, she will return from community work (Umuganda) tired and beaten. If you miss Umuganda, just reciprocate with a Maundy rite.Sit her down by the bed and bring some warm water, a towel and soap. Wash her feet with the tenderness like never before. Do it as if you are still courting her for the “first cut that is the deepest” so that the anxiety boils in her.Of course, the washing will be punctuated with tender kisses, just like Jesus did to His disciples that creepy night. Thereafter, the breaking of the Bread and sharing of the Holy Grail and its Blood will be heavenly and fulfilling.Disclaimer: You can interpret what the Bread, Holy Grain and Blood here are in your own way. If she slaps you in the act, please don’t mention my name as the source of your adventures. Plus, at no time should you equate your bedroom to a Calvary, and if you must Crucify her, be human.Easter SundayOn this day, Jesus is said to have resurrected from the dead after three days. Many people are going to be breaking their Holy Week fasting today with chicken thighs… I mean just that, chicken the bird. But for Mr Romantic, there should be nothing special in the Easter Sunday. Divert from tradition, just like Pope Francis is doing in Rome.Instead of thinking about thighs of chicken and all else today, consider extending your Umuganda service to the community. You can visit the orphanage or Survivors’ homes and give out alms. This will be more rewarding to both your life and health than any thigh you can feast on. At home, renew your love for her.Easter MondayToday, Jesus is going to heaven. I assume by now you would have taken someone to heaven already (isn’t that what the dirty minds in the gutter say?) On our Maundy Saturday, I urged you not to Crucify anyone, but just to wash the feet and kiss it. I urged you to be passionate. Now, on this Ascension Day, do not try any Batman or Spiderman antics of rising against the laws of nature. However, the only thing that should be rising in your life is prosperity of your wealth, your love index and commitment level, and compassion for the suffering that Jesus endured the Cross for.Happy Easter!

Lifestyle

The idea of a romantic Holy Week is doable